Business to the Buddha

Tag: relationship

  • Endless trip of the mind

    Over thinking can cause a lot of damage. This endless trip of mind creates two worlds within our mind. It is difficult to tame the monkey mind. An easy solution is meditation. My personal experience is Art of living part Happiness Program helps in multiple ways.

    Meditation helps in more than one ways. I shall share a recent incident some time in future. Until I get time to write my experience, here is a wonderful story from the book I have referred multiple times on my blog post – Prayers of the frog.

    Our one mind creates so much of trouble, understand Ravana had ten and the disaster it caused. Better to have a head over shoulders that is balanced, isn’t it? Wish you a very Happy Dussehra and I leave you with these thoughts of bringing peace.

    Endless trip of the mind

    Samuel was down in the dumps and who could blame him? His landlord had ordered him out of the apartment and he had nowhere to go. Suddenly the light dawned. He could live with his good friend Moshe. The thought brought Samuel much comfort until it was assailed by another thought. Samuel thought “what makes you so sure that Moshe will put you up at his place?” “Why wouldn’t he?” Came another question in his mind. He said to himself sharply “After all it is I who found him the place he is living in now; and it was I who advanced him the money to pay his rent for the first six months. Surely the least he could do is put me up for a week or so when I am in trouble.”

    That settled the matter in Samuel’s mind, until after dinner. After dinner, his mind again took a trip of thoughts; “Suppose Moshe were to refuse?” “Refuse?” Samuel again reasoned in his mind; “Why in God’s name would he refuse?” The man owes me everything he has. It is I who got him the job, it is I who introduced him to that lovely wife who has borne him the three sons he glories in. Will he grudge me a room for a week? Impossible.”

    Once again, Samuel’s mind settled until he go to the bed. He could not sleep as the thoughts came back “But just suppose Moshe were to refuse. What then?” This was too much for Samuel. His mind was on an endless trip, the thoughts continued “How the hell could he refuse?” Samuel was losing his temper in thoughts itself. His mind continued the chain of thoughts “If the man is alive today it is because of me. I saved him from drowning when he was a kid. Will he be so ungrateful as to turn me out into the streets in the middle of winter?”

    This mental exercise continued in Samuel’s mind; “Just suppose…”. Poor Samuel struggled with it as long as he could. Finally, he got out of the bed around 2 AM in the morning, went over to Moshe’s home, and kept ringing the doorbell until Moshe, half-asleep, opened the door and said in astonishment, “Samuel! What is it? What brings you here in the middle of the night?” Samuel was so angry by now he could not keep himself from yelling, “I’ll tell you what brings me here at this hour of the mind! If you think I’m going to ask you to put me up even for a single day, you’re mistaken. I don’t want to have anything to do with you, your house, your wife, or your family. To hell with you all!” With that, he turned on his heel and walked away.

    How to get over it

    Before your mind or relationships explode like Samuel’s did, my experience based suggestion would be – register for a course mostly happening online during Covid or reach out to me I shall try to connect you with someone who can help you attend an upcoming course.

  • This too shall pass

    I like Jab we met movie. I have written about it earlier too. Something happened recently that I remembered this movie again. Two of my friends discussed about issues one with girl friend and other with wife. There were conflicts, which relationship does not have conflict? So, we discussed – I am not a relationship counselor though – the troubles and concluded that few things are going to be there, however one must look at the big picture of life than the one of incidents. I narrated part of the movie Jab we met to them. I did not even bother to ask if they have watched it or no, I was too concerned to drive home the point.

    Plot – Jab we met

    Spoiler – part of movie the plot disclosed here. Shahid Kapoor’s girlfriend marries someone else, he is dejected and wants to leave everything. He boards a train where he meets Karina. Karina is in love with someone and wants to runaway to marry him. Shahid starts liking Karina’s carefree attitude and living in the moment. I believe one who is in love starts enjoying everything around. Karina is that person fully in love with Tarun Arora and willing to leave everything behind for Tarun. Things don’t workout as expected by Karina. She starts living on her own without connecting with family, completely changed personality. Shahid tries to bring her back to her family. She has lived like this for 9 months now. Tarun comes back in her life, when Karina wants to leave him. Now, Karina is confused, she understands that Shahid loves her. Shahid tells her – when you will look back in your old age this 9 month time period would be nothing when you have lived a long life with Tarun – which you always dreamed.

    Blogs based on movies (long list)

    Utsav movie – must love what she has and accept the love showered on him
    Kung Fu Panda – …there is no secrete ingredient, you must believe the soup is special…
    Kung Fu Panda – are we in control of our lives? Or it is just an illusion of control
    The Matrix – Morpheus is the best person to learn few things in life
    Ice age – We’ve been living our life like Scrat, there is something more beyond the cornseed
    Gulal – Brexit, Ambitions and unification – I wish in future we would not be driven fear and selfishness and, in future we would see such union and countries coming together to prosper together
    Kung Fu Panda 2 – Peace of mind comes from practicing it, not running behind things, possession for a peaceful mind
    Mehboob ki mehndi – Song Jane kyu log mohabbat kiya karte hai… and its limited interpretation of love, less possession less possed
    Rang De Basanti – Ek Omkar Satnam I am just “an insignificant nothing”, but the mind doesn’t accept it
    Guide – Duel Between Mind & Heart
    Seven years in Tibet – Religion is poison
    Network (1976) – What we see in news or opinions are they real or there are ulterior motives of someone that drive us
    The Matrix – Taking the red pill
    Salam Bombay – Our hoarding never ends, the way protagonist is trying to save 500 rupee
    Ice age 2 – we all exist like the Scrat in the mids of the fish trying to save our corn e.g. ourselves, job, loved one

    Lesson

    The suggestion is so important for everyone in life. We get angry, upset, depressed and frustrated for so many things in life. Solomon was advised – this too shall pass. We get entangled in life for so many things and at times for years we carry those grudges. Effectively we end up spoiling our present and our future for those trifling things. I know it is easier said than done. In fact those trifling things are so big issues for us at that point in life that we make those issues the center of our existence. This must be avoided. We must move on and be in the present moment. There is a great way to do that – meditation.

    It is not that I did not commit mistakes in my personal life. There is a learning curve. You Must Learn from the Mistakes of Others. You Will Never Live Long Enough to Make Them All Yourself. The examples of my friends were personal life examples, however, it happens with us in our professional life too that we end up getting upset, frustrated and angry for some or the other reason. Be it personal life or professional life, one must learn and practice meditation for a calm and peaceful present and a good life.

  • Aarti Amma







    Domestic helpAarti is in her mid 50’s if not in early 60’s. She came and settled in Mumbai when she was in her 20’s, with 3 kids and a couple of cloths that is it! She worked as a domestic help, her husband did different jobs. They taught their kids lived struggling with the ups and downs of the city. This struggle for them was “life” a survival stint.

    When I think about spiritual solutions to many problems, I have not thought about life from their level. At that level of existence survival itself is a blessing. Survival is the whole objective of life. When I am writing it I feel, the place is changed but we are still living in a jungle where animals are struggling for survival! The reasons are different though.

    So, our protagonist survived in city. Of course, one of the kids spoiled himself but other two are graduates. The best thing about this struggle is – one owns a house at the extreme end of the suburban city. Well, where is the house is not a question, one must be proud of the growth in 30 years from few cloths & nothing much to two graduates & a house in Mumbai – commendable!

    This is what I like about capitalism (no not entirety of capitalism!) – work hard and reap the rewards. I like the concept of financial freedom. Aarti and her family is still trying to get in the zone of financial freedom (even many of us).

    Aarti Amma has taught many lessons – one of them is hard work and other is managing relations. Both need a consistent practice, I am on it.

    Image for representational purpose, source Shunya’s notes

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