Tag: happiness

  • How to fix your mindset?

    My colleagues Akshay Chalke and Gaurav Thosani are full pictionaries of movies. While our group has some discussion, they relate to some or the other sequence of a movie, say, the dialog and start laughing amongst themselves. At times, we’re clueless what transpired, other times few other friends also start laughing when present context and movie sequence is clear. Initially, I used to look at Akshay and Gaurav with confusion, what the heck? What’s the meaning, what’s so special in that? At times, when they used to inform about the movie sequence (mostly I’d not watched) I used to feel what’s funny in that? In some chats, when I’d watched the movie, I went back about quarter of a century (I’m very old!). These small incidents helped me learn how can you fix your mindset?

    My story

    It was 1997, I’d just started traveling, that too alone – a distance of 500km (overnight bus journey) for my engineering. Being the youngest in family, naturally, I had lived in lot of protection and guidance. On top of that I was emotional & quick to get nostalgic. Those days, about 25 years back, video coach buses were cheaper and used to provide entertainment by playing a movie till mid night.

    It’s a nuisance if you don’t like the movie and a headache if you want to sleep for next day’s college. On top of all this, my mindset and disappointment with my present situations, made me uncomfortable and disappointed by the world in general. Though, the movies used to be light comedy like- Ishq or Govinda- movies of 90s. Some movies used to be slapstick comedy – no sense, just laughter rides. But, my mental condition, disappointments and nostalgia made me hate these movies. I never liked some hit comedy movies of that time, such as Ishq, Dulhe Raja, Auntie No. 1, Bade Miyan chhote miyan etc. In fact some songs made it to the list for example song of movie Ishq Nind churayi Meri kisne o Sanam; although I always liked singer Udit Narayan over others of that time.

    You can read other blog on “Situation.” how this single word sentence changed my approach to life.

    Read more about teachings of my professors about satisfaction.

    Read another one on how our sanskara‘s create our reality and possible Karma

    Lessons

    I started giving some thoughts on the incidents when Akshay, Gaurav and colleagues laughed on that movies sequences etc. I realized, if one’s mind is disturbed anything around doesn’t feel good. In fact the association with situations and mindset can be as long as decades. The next thought was now when I know it is mind’s problem, how to fix your mindset?

    I’ve watched few of those movies in last few years. Now I wonder those were not as bad, in fact, few were hit of that period. Slowly I realized, these are small moments of fun and lightening the mood. At the end of the day, one must be happy that’s the bare minimum one can have in life.

    How to fix your mindset?

    The point is, how can one be beyond one’s mental state and situations and still be happy / balanced in tough times?

    1. one way is to be in the present moment (tough hum?)
    2. learn to differentiate between the situation you are facing currently with the general state of your mind that’s created by other situations in life. You must have heard of keep your work and personal life separate (Easier said than done right?)
    3. fake happiness (balance or equanimity) as in the movie Three idiots “All iz well”
    4. look at learning opportunity in this tough time. Focus on lesson than the pain (easier)
    5. meditate daily (the best)

    Fixing your mindset become easy if you start any of the above steps. In my opinion is a better method of fixing mindset. Otherwise we become headless chicken driven by the situations around us. Still, if you’re unable to make your mind, reach out to me, we can speak on this lesson. Lastly read this simple telephonic discussion that could give you an idea or this may give some drift.

  • A conversation







    My friend called me and said I want to talk to you. I said go ahead we can speak. He asked for specific time as his conversation was likely to be a longer one. So, we decided to speak after office hours on a Friday evening.

    He called me and said – “You know what? I always took your opinions constructively and learnt from it. Whenever you spoke with me and at times when you badgered me for my naivety or mistakes it was learning. Now when I recently had a very bad such opinion from someone, I felt like getting buried in sand.”

    I was surprised. I am bit harsh some times, however I never knew that I am pursued like this by someone. Yes, intentions were most of the times for helping the person. So, I asked for more details of the recent incident. He obliged and gave me a detailed account of what has just happened with him.

    My friend was visibly upset. I knew he was kind enough not to give as good as he had got. Possibly he was not upto it, or he was not in such position. I sensed he was unhappy and this recent incident was depressing. So, I shared the following story with him –

    ———————

    Happiness

    Traveller; “What kind of weather are we going to have today?”
    Shepherd: “The kind of weather I like.”
    “How do you know it will be the kind of weather you like?”
    “Having found out, sir, that I cannot always get what I like, I have learnt always to like what I get. So I am quite sure we will have the kind of weather I like.”

    Happiness and unhappiness are in the way we meet events, not in the nature of those events themselves.

    ————————

    We concluded the call, I said lets try to look at brighter side you learnt something. So, he himself concluded few points. One point was – next time if something goes beyond the agenda of discussion, I would bring it on agenda or I will stop digression. This is a common problem with many of us today. The digression was the culprit for my friend predicament. Not just digression but also little attention span. Well, I have to learn a lot before becoming such a coach to someone. My friend was kind enough to think I can be of any assistance.

    Story sourcePrayer of the frog book by Fr Antony DeMello, the book is available in two volumes Volume 1 and Volume 2.

  • Purpose of life







    targetHe wanted to become an engineer since his childhood, perhaps even before reaching his teens. It was not easy to get into an Engineering college those days so he had to toil, stop his extra curricular activities and concentrate on studies. The hard-work paid off, now, he was pursuing his engineering and it was a dream coming true. He asked himself now what? Well, let us enjoy this education and become an engineer what else?

    With passage of each year, the question of “now what” became more prominent. He wondered what next? He thought to take up administrative services as his next goal. He filled the form, UPSC responded – instead of the admit card they had sent a letter – “your age is less than 20 years as of 31st July so you cannot take this exam in the current year.” He could have waited one more year but then his father was about to get retired in few years so except finding a job nothing could come to his mind. So, he set another goal, crack campus interview. By grace of God or he was lucky or may be because of his abilities he could secure a job on campus without much difficulty. He still had couple of months on campus to complete his final year. He was happy he got what he wanted. Thoughcliparti1_dream-clip-art_04.jpg this pleasure was short lived, his mind started playing tricks with him again – “Now, you have a job what next?”

    He was a dreamer, ambitious and committed person. So, he kept on feeding to his mind – “I will work hard, prove myself.” So, the mind probing – “You have achieved what you set as your goals without much of difficulty so sure you will get those too, but what next?” He responded to the mind – “well, I would get promoted faster than anyone else!” Mind was in no mood to end the questioning – “What after that?” He said – “I will buy Hyundai Santro. Work hard, get promoted, buy Honda City. work harder buy a house. Work hard, get promoted buy a bigger house.” He couldn’t think beyond these simple cycles of Work hard, get promoted buy car, buy house and again go back to work hard. So the mind said – “Ok! you would get retired one day doing all this, isnt it?” What after that? Why are you going to do all this? What is the purpose? Can’t one survive in smaller house? Can’t one be happy in smaller home? Can one go beyond becoming a CEO? What next? Is there an end to your carving? Is there a full stop? Why are you doing or planning to do everything? What is driving you? He slept questioning this to himself.

    He started asking himself – “Why I do what I do?” “What is the purpose of my life?” He came and asked me – “Dada (elder brother in some Indian languages), whats happening? Why we run around, except filling two square meal in stomach, do we have any bigger goal in life? Is there something beyond the physical world that we should strive for?”

    I asked him – What is the purpose of your life? He said – “I wanted to be an engineer, now I am completing engineering. Next thing came in my mind was a job. Thankfully I got that too in campus interviews, but now I am questioning myself what next? Why? How? What for?”

    I told him – there are various reasons you are running from one goal to the other. These can be put in bigger buckets such as – emotions, social acceptance, materialistic wealth. I cannot say why you wanted to be an engineer but when you set that goal you attached your emotions to that goal – you were “Happy” or you got a “sense of satisfaction” when you achieved it. Than that was in your hand, you didn’t bother about becoming an engineer – because you were doing engineering and there was no way you couldn’t get it any further. So your mind wandered – what next? The next thing came to you was social acceptance as in, job security. Than materialistic goal of car and home and bigger cars & homes. Your mind kept on pursuing these thoughts – that is great. Most of the time people never think beyond first level (“of owning a car to what next”) of these thoughts. But it was good that you could somehow get confused and couldn’t get to the end of your running around. Even if you think you would be satisfied, happy and socially respected when you get something, become somebody that happiness or satisfaction will be short-lived.

    Green-PastureI added – let me try to put these in further perspective – when you decided about a goal you feverishly ran to just get their. You missed the pasture in the race by just checking the milestones – “how much is left? Instead of enjoying the beauty of where you were standing.” I believe purpose of life is not just running from one point to the other making them as your goals. If you think of doing this; your goal will always be a moving target. No doubt you should have some or the other target, why not? But the purpose of your life should be being in present, staying satisfied with whatever you have, doing what best you could do to achieve your goals and yet you should not be feverish about your targets. When you die, you will leave everything here – your Hyundai Santro or Honda City or for that matter the big home you think you will buy when you are 55 (perhaps 34 years in the future!). You know Krishna said in the Geeta –

    कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
    मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥ २-४७
    Romans
    Karmanye vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,
    Ma Karmaphalaheturbhurma Te Sangostvakarmani
    Meaning
    You’ve a right to perform your prescribed action, but you’re not entitled to the fruits of your action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results your activities, and never be associated to not doing your duty.
    ———————————

    So just do things, enjoy your journey, dont be feverish about collecting flags, batches or medals. Because whenever you have some medal as your goal, your subtle wish is happiness or satisfaction of getting that. So, basically your purpose is more to be happy or be satisfied. My learning in all these years has been – happiness and satisfaction cannot be achieved while your mind runs outside. You can be happy and satisfied when you are in the NOW.

    Your purpose in life can be anything – set the target, plan and execute. Why worry about future, be in the present, be happy and satisfied. Happiness and satisfaction lie in the present not in the future not in achieving the goal.

    Disclaimer – Please do not make a goal of bothering anyone else. Actually teachings of many religion – a very strong teaching of  Jainism – is not to harm others. So when you set a goal (or try to make a purpose of life) do not set it as killing others becoming a e.g. terrorist, at least consciously.

    Purpose of my life – be Zorba the Buddha. Be in the present, enjoy life to the fullest and yet be completely aware about it. It is not something to be achieved, it is something to be lived. That is what I think “enlightenment” is.

    This is an LBC (Loose Bloggers Consortium) blog post, check  Ramana Uncleji’s take on this weeks topic here and another perspective from Shackman uncleji is here Link.

    Image source -Target https://pixabay.com/en/target-goal-business-icon-logo-1151287/

    Dream – http://clipartzebraz.com/files/1/24044_dream-clip-art.html

    Pasture http://cdn.c.photoshelter.com/img-get/I00008ApAOrqwYQI/s/900/900/Green-Pasture.jpg

  • Happiness – how?







    There have been more than 10 blog posts related to happiness on my site. These posts included – ego, money, work we do, peace of mind etc. Recently, I came across a research – old one -by Dr Eric L. Zielnski. His research states that – about 50% of happiness levels of an individual is governed by genetic set, 40% by intention or say a desire and about 10% by circumstances of an individual.

    Isn’t it interesting? If we assume this research is representative we are sure to be happy if we prepare ourselves. An article on this research added that genetics can be modified by our thoughts and actions. Awesome, if we decide to be happy we can be happy at least 90% of the times, isnt it?

    I remember, when I met Dr Anand Saxena – my engineering professorsaxena-sir-25dec12 – in Dec 2012 he told me this –

    गो धन, गज धन, काज धन, सबे रतन धन ख़ान|
    जब आवे संतोष धन, ये सब धुरी समान||

    Go dhan, gaj dhan, kaaj dhan sabe ratan dhan khan
    Jab aave santosh dhan ye sab dhuri saman.

    Meaning:

    It is true that owning cattle, jewels or kingdoms is mine of wealth
    But when you own wealth of contentment (satisfaction) those mines (cattle, jewels etc) of wealth become worthless (like dust)

    To be happy one needs to be content. I think that is how the Buddha professed the four truths. There is misery, there is cause of misery and there is a way out. This way out is – being content and thats pretty much it, isnt it?

    Lastly, what I think was – the Buddha taught the path just alter that 90%, created the Sangha or community to remove that 10% chance of circumstantial challenge. Hope after joining the community people didnt get into competition of being the first to be enlightened 😀

  • LBC – Peace Of Mind







    When I read the topic for Loose Bloggers Consortium, the very first thing came to my mind was this video from Kung Fu Panda 2. The other thought was that I have written a lot of blogs related to peace of mind earlier.

    The conclusion of every blog post is that peace of mind comes from within and not outside. For example –

    In the blog Peace of Mind – I started of thinking peace of mind comes from owning something or being at peace is independent of owning anything? I reasoned out that peace of mind is not in achieving something in life. However, peace of mind is being at peace with our mind in the present. Because the more we think more we complicate life – life is, simple!

    In another blog Arrived… where? though peace of mind was not straightforward point of discussion, but something related was discussed. My brother in law asked me a very simple question – ‘what is home?’ ‘what is school?’ How do you define home/school etc” In that same discussion the conclusion was – home relates more to a feeling – comfort, peace.

    In one more blog Dichotomy on happiness the question I ask was – happiness requires fulfillment of the CONDITIONS we create for being happy or it is a feeling irrespective of what happens in our life/to us? These conditions, to me, are never ending… as it happens to the squirrel in Ice Age-Trilogy and to Chaipau in Salaam Bombay“. Dichotomy of happiness is you decide on what you enjoy doing or you remain happy irrespective of the situation you are in….

    In all these thoughts, the real peace of mind was understood when I first saw Dadaji (Dada Gavande), here is a tribute blog to Dadaji. “When I saw him for the first time, and later as well, I was completely awe stuck, everything, thought and feeling vanished. So much of serenity was flowing off his face that I had nothing to talk or ask.” If you want to experience such peace of mind, you either have to meet an enlightened master or be enlightened yourself.

    There were about 10 or more blogs in which peace of mind was touched upon. For more of my thoughts on peace of mind, read What are you searching for? where really the question is to you. In another blog Is religion another organized crime? the point is have religion lost their meaning? In the blog Money what is it? I tried to create another fictitious currency. In another blog Fish will fly in its next birth how my sister tried pacifying her daughter whose fish had just died.

    You can read all the blogs searched with “Peace of Mind” as searched term here

    This topic for LBC was suggested by Ramana uncleji. You can read other blogs of other Loose Bloggers Consortium members at Ramana Uncleji, Shackman and Lin.

  • All is in the mind







    Mr MundhraI recently had privilege to meet Mr BD Mundhra Chairman emeritus of Simplex Infrastructure. He was kind enough to spend some time with us and share his perspective on spirituality, business and life at large. I shall share what I learnt from him in future blogs. Here is a short story from the book Happy Life (Sukhi Jeevan) written by Late Shree Madhodas Ji Mundhra, that he gifted to us.

    In a village lived a Sadhu. He used to cook for himself. One day he prepared his meal as usual. He invited two persons from the village to join him for the meal. He had prepared a meal of lentils, rice, some greens with a chutney. While serving the two, he served both his invitees equal portions. But he discriminated when it came to the chutney. He served the chutney to one but not to the other. The deprived one kept on thinking why he was not being served the chutney. But he said nothing. The other invitee ate the chutney with relish. He asked for an extra helping. He was given that. Meanwhile, the other one was feeling very humiliated. As the meal was coming to an end, he could not stop himself any more. He asked the sadhu why he had not been served the chutney. The sadhu simple said “Okay, so you want it?” With these words, he served the chutney to this person. As soon as the person put the chutney in his mouth, he could not bear it and spat it out. The chutney was too bitter. It was made of leaves of Neem tree. This man failed to comprehend how his companion was actually eating it and relishing the taste.

    The sadhu explained that it was all in the mind. Even the bitter taste has its own appeal and merit. This is nothing but positive frame of mind. Such an effective and positive state of mind and inclination makes a man find some element of contentment even in his hour of sorrow.

    It’s all in the mind. This is why there is a prayer – “Tanmey Manah Shivasankalpamastu

    Photo – Late Shree Madhodas ji Mundhra Source – http://www.simplexprojects.com/

  • Terrorist meets The Buddha







    I heard a news that ISIS has sent a threat message to Sri Sri Ravishankar (Guruji). This blog is inspired from that message and story of The Buddha and angulimala. From This blog – …My Engineering college professor Dr Anand Swaroop Saxena told me some time in 2001 – “inherently people are not flawed, situation drive people to react in the way they react.”…

    Just imagine if a terrorist crosses roads on which The Buddha is traveling! In this high-tech age, it isn’t same as Angulimala confronting The Buddha. Angulimala was having a purpose of making a garland of 1000 fingers (read the purpose here) and he had knife/sword. The current times are different, terrorist doesn’t need to be next to you, they can kill from a long distance. If the terrorist knows The Buddha, he (assuming most terrorists are male) wont come near, chances are that The Buddha will change his heart. But for argument sake imagine terrorist confronts The Buddha (Sri Sri).

    What and how the discussion may start –Sri Sri ISIS threat
    Terrorist (T) – I’m going to kill you.

    The Buddha (B) – Why?

    T – (confused, this fellow isn’t scared) – thinking… thinking… thinking… Because you’re a threat to us.

    B – Threat? I don’t even have arms / weapon, instead you’ve. How can I be a threat? And what do you mean by “us”?

    T – (again, confused never expected this logical question. Uses his logic whatever he has) I’m armed because of you. You’re a threat to my community.

    B – How am I a threat to “Your community”? What is “YOUR community”. I never killed anyone why do you think I’m the reason of you keeping arms?

    T – (totally confused) I don’t want to listen to your stupidities. You’re a threat to us.

    B – Who is “us”? Did I bother you? Did I hurt you?

    T – Your people and those who are against us hurt my people and therefore I’m here to kill you.

    B – “Your people”… “My people” who are these? who is against YOU? How can you say that you represent the whole community? What is your community?

    T – You’re against Islam and my people are all muslims in this world. “Your people” are all non-muslims of the world. They’ve not been
    just to us.

    B – Firstly, speak for yourself and don’t try to talk about millions of others who don’t know you and do not (may not) agree to your point of view. Secondly, I am not against any religion. My religion is compassion [author’s mind – provided this Terrorist understand what this god forsaken word “compassion” means], happiness, equality, human values, meditation, peace etc. Do you believe in any of these?

    What unjust has anyone done to you? How can you speak about millions of others who are muslims, you have not met them and are happily living in their country of birth? How can you say justice wasn’t done to them? Furthermore, what harm am I causing you or likely to cause to you or in your words to your people? Am I killing them? Am I asking (advising) them to hate you? Am I asking (advising) them to do something that is against you?

    At best I’ve helped some of the people in XYZ country to help each other and rescue those whom you want to kill. Is it incorrect? Do you have license to kill anyone and everyone you wish? Does your owning weapon means you’ve license to spread hatred, riots and terror? If that is the case there are nations that have abilities to finish the whole world numerous of times. Your one weapon is just nothing compared to that.

    This time terrorist could not even comprehend and think of what all has been spoken and he has heard. Thanks to Ananda besides the Buddha, Ananda recited each sentence and gave him time to think of a reply.

    T – (reply to firstly speak for yourself…) I represent my people.
    T – (reply to secondly, I am not against any religion) You are against my religion. Why are you doing any rescue operations in XYZ country?  Meaning of my religion is peace, purity, submission and obedience to the GOD…

    B – (to this The Buddha interrupted) have you taken (or they gave you) permission to speak on behalf of the people whom “you think”, you represent? Secondly, if your religion means “peace” what are you doing? Having arms in hand and killing people does it mean the meaning itself is wrong or you have interpreted your religion incorrectly?

    T – (could not digest this) This is blasphemy you can’t question my religion who are you to question my faith and that is the problem
    because of which I want to kill you? You are infidel.

    B – Do you know what is the meaning of infidel? I am just questioning on your actions and interpretations of what you’ve in your mind. Infidel is the one who doesn’t have a religion. I listed out my religion is peace, compassion, happiness, equality, human values, meditation. Another meaning of infidel is one who is not in majority. Do you think you are in majority? Muslims all across the globe do not have gun in  their hands, according to that definition you are an infidel in – what you call it – “your community” itself. Moreover, when I said my religion includes peace, we’re on the same side, isn’t it? Your religion means peace to you. Why do you want to disregard your religion (peace) assuming you are protecting your religion by not obeying the meaning of your religion itself?

    This may go on and on in author’s mind – the author is not the Buddha. Perhaps the Buddha (Sri Sri) would perfect the discussion with a compassionate glance, no single word. Who knows in the end – terrorist bows down with no argument left and becomes a true follower of peace.

    Dedicated to Guruji (Sri Sri Ravishankar)

    Related blogs – on Angulimala

    Story of Angulimala

  • Random Act of Kindness







    I have started watching a SitCom – Dharma and Greg. In one episode Dharma (a strangely spiritual women), does Random Act of Kindness. She gets into trouble as a Policeman fines her. Well, I shall write on the serial sometime later. I thought to take up this point of “Random Act of Kindness” in this blog. I have written on Can money buy Happiness? earlier, however here is another take. Though, upto an extent yes Money can buy you happiness, yet beyond that threshold “value of money” does not add any “value” to one’s happiness – point of diminishing returns.

    Related blog – Just do it… ok try it

    I received this video from my brother on WhatsApp. I am sharing this video here, do watch, if you like do share as well. After watching this video you may say why do such thing? People will be “tempted to find such person” on daily basis! Just watch the video and feel free to share it, like it and write your opinion on the comments box below.

    If you want to check this video in Youtube

    It is my birthday today – 26th Sept. So instead of waiting till weekend (starting tomorrow), I thought that let me share this blog on my Birthday. Will you share some Random Act of Kindness with anyone? May be today? Not necessarily me [jokes apart].  Anyone who is in need.

  • Ted Talk – Bob Thurman: We can be Buddhas







    This is a TED talk I heard yesterday. Thanks to my mobile and TED app found this video. This is a very interesting & small talk by Bob Thurman. I felt to have the transcript too so have searched and pasted it below.

    [ted id=130]

    And I feel like this whole evening has been sort of amazing to me, I feel it’s sort of like the Vimalakirti Sutra, an ancient work from ancient India, in which the Buddha appears at the beginning and a whole bunch of people come to see him from the biggest city in the area, Vaisali, and to bring some jeweled parasols to make offering to him. All the young people, actually, from the city — the old fogeys don’t come, because they’re mad at Buddha, because when he came to their city he accepted, he always accepts the first invitation that comes to him from whoever it is, and the local geisha, a movie star sort of person, raced the elders of the city in a chariot and invited him first.

    So he was hanging out with the movie star, and of course they were all grumbling, “He’s supposed to be religious and all this, what’s he doing over there at Amrapali’s house with all his 500 monks,” and so on. They were all grumbling, and they boycotted him, they wouldn’t go listen to him. But the young people all came. And they brought this kind of a jeweled parasol, and they put it on the ground. And as soon as they had laid all these, all their big stack of these jeweled parasols that they used to carry in ancient India, he performed a kind of special effect which made it into a giant planetarium, the wonder of the universe. Everyone looked in that and they saw in there the total interconnectedness of all life in all universes.

    And of course in the Buddhist cosmos there are millions and billions of planets with human life on it, and enlightened beings can see the life on all the other planets — so they don’t, when they look out and they see those lights that you showed in the sky, they don’t just see sort of pieces of matter burning or rocks or flames or gases exploding, they actually see landscapes and human beings and gods and dragons and serpent beings and goddesses and things like that.

    The made that special effect at the beginning to get people to think about interconnection and interconnectedness and how everything in life was totally interconnected.

    And then Leilei (I know his other name) told us about interconnection and about how we’re all totally interconnected here and how we’ve all known each other, and of course in the Buddhist universe we’ve already done this already billions of times in many many lifetimes in the past. And I didn’t give the talk always…, YOU did, and we had to watch you, and so forth.

    And we’re all still trying to, I guess we’re all trying to become TEDsters, if that’s a modern form of enlightenment. I guess so. Because in a way, if TEDster relates to all the interconnectedness of all the computers and everything, it’s the forging of a mass awareness, of where everybody can really know everything that’s going on everywhere in the planet.

    And therefore it will become intolerable — what compassion is, is where it will become intolerable for us, totally intolerable that we sit here in comfort and in pleasure and enjoying the life of the mind or whatever it is, and there are people who are absolutely riddled with disease and they cannot have a bite of food and they have no place or they’re being brutalized by some terrible person and so forth, it just becomes intolerable.

    With all of us knowing everything, we’re kind of forced by technology to become Buddhas or something, to become enlightened.

    And of course, we all will be deeply disappointed when we do.

    Because we think that, because we are kind of tired of what we do, a little bit tired, we do suffer, we do enjoy our misery in a certain way, we distract ourselves from our misery by running around somewhere, but basically we all have this common misery that we are stuck inside our skins and everyone else is out there.

    And occasionally we get together with another person stuck in their skin and the two of us enjoy each other, and each of us tried to get out of our own, and ultimately it fails of course and we’re back into this thing.

    Because our egocentric perception — from the Buddha’s point of view, misperception — is that all we are is what is inside our skin. And it’s inside and outside, Self and Other, and Other is all very different. And everyone here is unfortunately carrying that habitual perception, a little bit, right?

    You know, someone sitting next to you in a seat , that’s okay because you’re in a theater, but if you were sitting on a park bench and someone came up and sat that close to you, you’d freak out. “What do they want from me?” Like, “Who’s that?” And so you wouldn’t sit that close to another person because of your notion that it’s you versus the universe — that’s all Buddha discovered.

    Because that cosmic basic idea that it is us all alone, each of us, and everyone else is different, then that puts us in an impossible situation, doesn’t it? Who is it who’s going to get enough attention from the world, who’s going to get enough out of the world, who’s not going to be overrun by an infinite number of other beings — if you’re different from all the other beings?

    So where compassion comes is where you surprisingly discover you lose yourself in some way, through art, through meditation, through understanding, through knowledge actually, knowing that you have no such boundary, knowing your interconnectedness with other beings. You can experience yourself as the other beings when you see through the delusion of being separated from them.

    When you do that, you’re forced to feel what they feel. Luckily, they say — I still am not sure — but, luckily, they say that when you reach that point, because some people have said in the Buddhist literature, they say “Ooh, who would really want to be compassionate, how awful! I’m so miserable on my own, my head is aching, my bones are aching, I go from birth to death, I’m never satisfied, I never have enough, even I’m a billionaire I never have enough, I need a hundred billion, so I’m like that, imagine if I had to feel even a hundred other people’s suffering. It would be terrible.”

    But apparently, this is a strange paradox of life, when you’re no longer locked in yourself, and as the wisdom, or the intelligence, or the scientific knowledge of the nature of the world, that enables you to let your mind spread out, and empathize, and enhance the basic human ability of empathizing, and realizing that you are the other being, somehow by that opening, you can see the deeper nature of life, and you can, you get away from this terrible iron circle of I, me, me, mine, like the Beatles used to sing.

    You know, we really learned everything in the ’60s. Too bad nobody ever woke up to it, and they’ve been trying to suppress it since then. I me me mine, it’s like a perfect song, that song. A perfect teaching.

    But when we’re relieved from that, we somehow then become interested in all the other beings. And we feel ourselves differently. It’s totally strange, it’s totally strange.

    The Dalai Lama always likes to say, he says that when you give birth in your mind to the idea of compassion, it’s because you realize that you yourself and your pains and pleasures are finally too small a theater for your intelligence, it’s really too boring whether you feel like this or like that, or what, you know — and the more you focus on how you feel, by the way, the worse it gets. Like, even when you’re having a good time, when is the good time over? The good time is over when you think, How good is it? and then it’s never good enough.

    I love that Leilei said that the way of helping those who are suffering badly on the physical plane or on other planes is having a good time, doing it by having a good time.

    I think the Dalai Lama should have heard that, I wish he’d been there to hear that. He once told me, he looked kind of sad, he worries very much about the haves and have-nots, he looked a little sad because he said, Well, a hundred years ago, they went and took everything away from the haves. You k now, the big communist revolutions, Russia and China and so forth, they took it all away by violence, saying they were going to give it to everyone, and then they were even worse. They didn’t help at all.

    So what could possibly change this terrible gap that has opened up in the world today?

    And so then, ah, he looks at me.

    So I said, Well, you know, you’re all in this yourself. You teach: it’s generosity. Was all I could think of. What is virtue.

    But of course, … I think the key to saving the world, the key to compassion is that, it is more fun. It should be done by fun. Generosity is more fun, that’s the key.

    Everybody has the wrong idea — they think Buddha was so boring, and they’re so surprised when they meet Dalai Lama and he’s fairly jolly

    Even though his people are being genocided, and believe me he feels every blow on every old nun’s head, in every Chinese prison, he feels it. He feels the way they are harvesting yaks nowadays, I won’t even say what they do. But he feels it.

    And yet he’s very jolly, he’s extremely jolly.

    Because, because when you open up like that, then you can’t just, what good does it do to add being miserable with others’ misery? You have to find some vision where you see how hopeful it is, how it can be changed.

    Look at that beautiful thing Chiho showed us, she scared us with the lava man, she scaaared us with the lava man is coming, then the tsunami is coming, but then finally there was flowers, and trees, and it was very beautiful. It’s really lovely.

    So, compassion means to feel the feelings of others, and the human being actually IS compassion. (The human being is almost out of time.)

    The human being IS compassion because what is our brain for? Now, Jim’s brain is memorizing the almanac. But he could memorize all the needs of all the beings that he is, he will, he did. He could memorize all kinds of fantastic things to help many beings. And he would have tremendous fun doing that.

    So the first person who gets happy, when you stop focusing on the self-centered situation of “how happy am I?” where you’re always dissatisfied as Mick Jagger told us — you never get any satisfaction that way — so then you decide, “Well, I’m sick of myself, I’m going to think of how other people can be happy. I’m going to get up in the morning and think, ‘What can I do for even one other person, even a dog, my dog, my cat, my pet, my butterfly.’” And the first person who gets happy when you do that, you don’t do anything for anybody else, but YOU get happier, you yourself, because suddenly your whole perception broadens, and you suddenly see the whole world and all of the people in it. And you realize that this — being with all these people — is the flower garden that Chiho showed us.

    It is Nirvana

  • Dichotomy on happiness…







    “There are some things money cannot buy…” I am not talking about Master Card! Generally speaking, I was thinking that there are many things money cannot buy. In fact, the Buddha left his whole empire! He too knew there are “somethings money cannot buy”. This is where I had two minds, and thought to share these thoughts and request for feedbacks.

    The first and foremost thing money cannot buy is LOVE, you are a better judge for this. Other important thing is happiness, in a spiritual context ‘bliss’.

    Sometime back I decided to leave a very lucrative offer the reason was I knew at my heart of my heart, I would not want to do this work and would not enjoy the work. The other option was – nothing! So, it was a tough decision to leave something (something immensely rewarding) for nothing. Recently, I met one of my friends (he knew my previous decision) his first and repeated question to me was – ‘Are you happy?’ And all the time my answer was – ‘YES, are not you happy with what you are doing?’ His response was with many riders – “yes for ‘X’ I am happy, but because of ‘Y’ I have some issues, you know this and you know that and this is what and whatever whatever etc”.

    I thought we take so many decisions “for” or “because of” some or the other things e.g. money. We tend to give drivers seat to our ‘mind’ for making criteria and decision too, while a rear seat to our ‘heart’. Relationship, emotions, all these relate to heart and we largely overlook these while making decision. However, being human we are driven largely by emotions and therefore there has to be a balance between rationality and emotion in decision making too.

    Then came the second perspective – if one wants to be happy no one can stop him/her from being happy. Happiness is a very personal matter. Two persons in similar circumstances could have different feelings (one ecstatic and other wretched). Peace of mind cannot be bought in the market, it has to be felt. If it has to be felt, why cannot one be peaceful while doing whatever he/she is doing? … So the dichotomy is – do we make decision based on few factors and that is the reason for us to be happy or we are happy because we want to be happy and irrespective of the decision we make or irrespective of what happens in our life.

    The question to ask is – happiness requires fulfillment of the CONDITIONS we create for being happy or it is a feeling irrespective of what happens in our life/to us? These conditions, to me, are never ending… as it happens to the squirrel in Ice Age-Trilogy and to Chaipau in Salaam Bombay“. Dichotomy of happiness is you decide on what you enjoy doing or you remain happy irrespective of the situation you are in….

    Related blogs – Cause…, the Middle Path, No judgement its all about perception and Balancing Act, When will we stop?