Business to the Buddha

Tag: Chinu

  • Choices

    My daughter, Adviti is growing up. She has started asserting her liking and choices gradually. She decides what she wants to eat when she wants to change the song, and what she wants to wear. It is turning out to be a fascinating life lesson for me.

    We start making choices since childhood. I remember spending time with my niece Chinu when she started making choices. She liked watching Kung Fu Panda (movie) I enjoyed watching Kung Fu Panda with her, she also collected pebbles as I did as a kid.

    Smiling-Baby

    I believe some of our choices are involuntary, and some are self-made. Let me take an example – Adviti likes us chanting of Bhojan Mantra (video below) before meals because she has seen us doing it for as much as the last six months. I wonder if she understands it, or whether the rendition is clear. However, she loves it, and if we start eating our meal without the chanting, she forces us to chant the mantra. Possibly this is what Sanskar is. I’d call it an involuntary choice – I may be wrong though, she may be forcing us because she understands! When she changes the Youtube video – it is most likely a self-made choice.

    Choices, Liking and Love

    Though I found time now to write about it, however, I had been thinking about Adviti’s likes, dislikes, and choices for a while. Those who know me know that for my arrange marriage I met two dozen girls. Many rejected me, I rejected some. In these discussions, some accused me of – you are not proceeding further “because I am fat”; “because I am darker shade” etc. I had to respond to these because these were genuinely not the reasons. I will share few arguments that I shared with these prospective alliances.

    One, on complexion, I said, let’s assume I get to marry the fairest girl in the world. Every evening I come from the office. and we start fighting on a trifling matter. In that case, what is the value of the “fairness” to me? It is said that beauty is skin deep, isn’t it?

    Two, on complexion and shape, I said, let’s assume I get married to someone, she met with an accident, or I met with an accident resulting in a body deformity. Would the other person leave the better half who met with an accident? I had to take this example because one alliance had such an incident. I had to tell her that such things are possible after marriage too. A bad example but I took such an example.

    Lastly, on the shape, I said who is going to remain like this forever? With age, we all will be out of shape. why worry about it from now? One must be fit for a healthier life but one should not take serious decisions giving one-factor full weightage.

    Those long discussions (or at times long-distance discussions), in some cases the contest of mind vs heart, for alliances made me look at likes and dislikes little objectively. I asked myself – if I love someone because of face or shape or behavior (or family – yes Indian marriages are not just two people it is their family and extended family too) what if one parameter changes in the same person? In the end, I came to realize – choices are made (or someone or something is loved) because of the whole and not because of the parts. Check this section of an Indian movie – Nayak the real hero – where protagonist is explaining his “dream girl” and what that turns out to be by his father who is a cartoonist.

    If I love someone or something – I love that because of the uniqueness. The uniqueness includes possible flaws. If I had to respond to “why I love someone or something” what would my response be? If my response is because of X, Y, Z and A, B, C, etc. There may be more people with those same qualities. Would it be possible to love those others too? This question helped me realize the lower strata of love. This stratum is for love, liking, or choices we make in the material world. The spiritual world has compassionate affection – of the Buddha – for everyone or full devotion – Bhakti – for the loved one.

    The realization was that we make choices in the whole and start intellectualizing the choices part by part for bringing balance between heart and mind. This justification brings reasoning of “why” and “because of”. Most likely Adviti makes her self-made choices on the whole, once she grows older she too will start intellectualizing the choices to justify her liking.

  • The fish will fly in next birth







    The phone rang for unusual number of times today. My sister or her daughter is generally not that late to pick up a call.

    When I heard my sister on the other side, I said – “Hi! didi, what are you doing? Where is Chinu?” Her response took me aback. She said – “Chinu and her dad is going to burry our fish, there were two both died today.” Chinu is my niece, who is ~5+ years currently.

    I saw surprised, “when did you bring fish? Last time also the same happened.”

    My sister responded – “Yes, we bought these two about a month back. Last time also the fish could not survive more than a month. Chinu was so attached to these fish that when these died she was very upset and felt very low.”

    My sister continued – “when I could not handle here sorrow face, I told her, Chinu, both the fish were bored of swimming they both wanted to fly. Now they would become birds.”

    FishMy sister reads Jatak tales to her these days. Chinu was satisfied that both the fish are on their way to accomplish what they want to do. When her father called, she informed him also (this time with relatively more happily) – “daddy, both of them will fly now, they wanted to become birds.”

    Chinu was at peace, she went to bury the fish as she did last time also. However, this time she was content. She did everything possible to have the fish and provide them with special fish food and good quality aquarium, but these could not survive.

    Chinu was not upset. When I heard what my sister just said, I remembered an interesting scientific research published recently. This research was done at Stanford University. It falls under Social Psychology using priming as an approach. These things sound very complicated, let me elaborate these points –

    According to psychologists social psychology is usage of scientific methods “to understand and explain how the thought, feeling and behavior of individuals are influenced by the actual, imagined or implied presence of other objects.”

    Priming is a phenomenon about exposing people to certain words or images that then subconsciously influence their thinking or behavior.

    According to that research, if people are exposed to Buddhists concepts (experiment group included Western Christians, Western Buddhists and East Asian Buddhist individuals) people reacts to things positively more often.

    QUOTE Huffington Post

    Across all groups, people who were exposed to words like “Buddha,” “Dharma” and “awakening” in a word puzzle showed fewer negative associations with African and Muslim people than those who were exposed to Christian or nonreligious words.

    Participants who were primed with Buddhist words also scored higher on a test measuring prosocial behaviors. These effects were particularly pronounced among people who scored higher on tests measuring open-mindedness.

    UNQUOTE

    Though, I myself have questions on the way research was done, what is the impact Kanakia 7on before priming vs after priming etc yet when I relate this research to my niece I believe this must have some correlation.

    I think that is why Kanakia ‘Sevens’ – a residential project – is advertised like this. Also I have been seeing a lot of photos/status etc of the Buddha at various places as “fashion” perhaps having subtle – unknown – meaning.

    Image source – Kanakia Sevens

    Aquarium Image source – Flickr

  • Follow this







    This is a daily prayer in a school. This is worth it, everyone should follow this.

    Everyone is special, one must realize this and follow these simple instructions.


  • Race – never ending







    I met Professor Arun Ramanathan a few months back (precisely in April). He taught us Corporate Governance and Business Ethics in our MBA. I told him a very practical daily situation I face. Whenever I walk, I am almost running, I notice that I walk very fast that I leave people behind as if there is a kind of competition happening. I am running to – say – win some competition.

    Courtesy Nilesh Yeram (my friend)
    Courtesy Nilesh Yeram (my friend)

    Why are we doing this? Am I alone in this kind of running (not just literal) without knowing where is the end or many professionals – like I do – are just running. Some running for money, some for a next bigger car or home, some others for a better position. Or is it that when people are young they just get in a race, a race no one knows who started but a race in which other peers are also equally involved (at least in the runners mind)? This is how ethics gets shelved in our personal and professional life. We are trying to be something. Is it of any consequence or what are the accolades related to that? It is of no interest in many cases. So the mentality is by hook or crook achieve the results.

    Two weeks back Rajagopaul uncleji shared a story with me. This perfectly relates to my discussion with Prof Ramanathan, so, sharing it here.

    Race

    I was jogging one day and I noticed a person in front of me, about 1/4 of mile. I could tell he was running a little slower than me and I thought, well, I shall try to catch him. I had about a mile to go my path before I needed to turn off. So I started running faster and faster. Every block, I was gaining on him just a little bit. After just a few minutes I was only about 100 yards behind him, so I really picked up the pace and push myself. You would have thought I was running in the last leg of London Marathon. I was determined to catch him.

    Finally, I did it! I caught and passed him by. On the inside I felt so good. “I beat him” of course, he didn’t even know we were racing. After I passed him, I realized I had been so focused on competing against him that I had missed my turn. I had gone nearly six blocks past it. I had to turn around and go all the way back.

    Isn’t that what happens in life when we focus on competing with co-workers, neighbors, friends, family, trying to outdo them or trying to prove that we are more successful or more important?

    We spend our time and energy running after them and we miss out on our own paths. The problem with competition is that it’s a never ending cycle. There will always be somebody ahead of you, someone with better job, nicer car, more money in the bank, more education, better behaved children, etc. But realize that “You can be the best that you can be; you are not competing with anyone.”

    Some people are insecure because they pay too much attention to what others are doing, where others are going. Take what has been given to you. Stays focused and live a healthy life. Run your own RACE and wish others WELL!!!

    Is not it a good thing to learn?

    Other related blogs

    Chinu and the pebbles

    Money worth earning

    Swasthay – dwelling in oneself

    What more you need?

    When will we stop?

    Why are you doing what are you doing?

  • Chinu and the pebbles







    My little niece – Chinu – is about three years old. When I see her picking up small pebbles I remember my childhood. I used to do that – “Wow this stone is very smooth.” “That stone is of very different color”, I will keep this with me always, no one can find such beautiful stone anywhere.

    I used to pick up stones the way Chinu does now. Now, I am grown up (may be!) and now I care for different kind of stones :). As many of you must be doing now.

    When I compared Chinu’s activities with my current actions. I wonder my father, Saxena Sir (or Rajagopaul Uncleji) must be thinking – hey this kid (for them I may be still a kid) is growing up! One day he won’t care for all these stones!

    I am going to ask these elders of mine – what have they really earned in life? How do they measure success now? What they crave for now? And how do they feel about my or any young ambitious persons running around?

    I see Chinu and think of my childhood and my small world. What would it be when I’d be say 60. Sitting around and smiling or still running around for something else? I wonder!

    I wrote this blog in November, posting it now. Saxena Sir told me what I wrote in previous blog – Money worth earning! He taught not to even run behind earning satisfaction.

    Related blog –

    When will we stop?

  • Tender coconut







    I live in a place where there are many coconut trees nearby. No doubt we get tender coconut on a regular basis. In fact for months I had been playing with my niece – Chinu – with those tiny coconuts by helping her throw them in the sea. What I never noticed while helping her play with those tiny coconuts was – “how it grows from a nothing to so many things!” That blossoming of coconut from just a tiny coconut with nothing to a tender coconut with water and coconut with oil and thick shell with husk and so on made me think.

    Source - indiaheals.blogspot.com
    Tender Coconut
    Source – indiaheals.blogspot.com

    Recently, I went to our regular tender coconut milk joint. I saw some completely ripe coconuts kept in the shop. That made me thinking. I have seen those small non-entity coconuts. I started wondering, how come this thing gets water? Slowly that water converts into a shell. The same shell then helps create the outer cover of a ripe coconut (brown in color), coconut and the outer husk. Where does the husk on that green outer cover come from? Even in a ripe coconut the husk is not visible!

    See it is very interesting, the same content converts into many forms. The tree is the same, its receive same nutrients from ground and sunlight. Tree does the same activity but different parts grow in different ways. Everything is so perfect at its place, making that non entity to a perfect coconut.

    I was lost in my thoughts that nature has strange ways to convert one thing into other. More deeper in thoughts, I started thinking about us – Humans. We also are from the same source. We get our energy, color and share everything from the contents of the earth, right! In a unique way we are different but at a macro level we are humans. If we think about future we would leave everything here – the iron of our blood, calcium of our bones and water of our body. We got everything from the earth and we would leave everything behind when we would die. Still we fight when we are alive!

    This tender coconut helped me realize this clearly that we are made from same contents. Though in my mind I always knew it, perhaps everyone of us knows this. Yet we generally think it as “obvious” and overlook it.

    Related blogs –

    Blogs on Interdependent Co-arising

    Death

    Death is inevitable

  • What are you searching for?







    My little niece – we call her Chinu – has a couple of  videos and books. In some of the videos and books there is a story, in this story the main character – Lenny (in one story) – is searching/waiting for a friend. The idea is – Lenny wants a friend did not know how to identify the friend. Some of the dialogs of the story –

    …”Oh Sorry! cheeped a little voice”

    “Never Mind,” growled Lenny.

    “My name is Tweek. And yours?” cheeped the voice.

    “My name is Lenny, but I don’t have time to stop and talk,” Explained Lenny. “I have to get home and wait for a friend”.

    “May I wait with you?” asked Tweek.

    “If you want to, but don’t disturb me,” replied Lenny.

    “So what does your friend look like? when is he coming?” asked Tweek.

    “Don’t know,” said Lenny.

    Believe it or not, the search/wait is on…. everyone of us is searching for something. TV channels are searching for next sensational singer or dancer. News channels are searching for next breaking news. Box office is searching for its next bigger hit or super star. Citizen of India in general for good governance and so on. Whatever said and done, search is on.

    Ideal Final Result

    When we turn to individual, the search is for a better friend, good house, better life style, peace of mind, love or a superior job. No doubt search is on. Many a times what is observed is that the search is on but one does not know what is that he/she is searching for.

    When an organization is on the journey of innovation, not knowing what is required becomes a very big problem. In my innovation consulting and TRIZ learning I used to have a framework for removing the problem of not knowing what are we searching for. The method is Ideal Final Result (IFR). The concept of IFR seeks the destination or best solution in the beginning itself. This method helps identifying what are  looking for and where we want to go?

    So what are you searching for?

    By the way, when the Buddha was searching (enlightenment), he could not attain that. However, when he even dropped the idea of “searching” he achieved it! To start off – the Buddha knew what he is searching for.

    Image source – TRIZ Journal, article by Simon Dewulf and Darell Mann

  • Currency for the future?







    In his class, Prof Mankad asked us “what is money?” He answered – “Money is what is accepted as money”. Very apt definition. Here I am taking small freedom to change it a bit. I am changing the word “accepted” to “trusted”. Of course trust is a very heavy word. We have built a concept “of money” on trust. The question is where is trust? On a lighter note – There was a time when banks did not trust each other (recession of 2008). I have heard this idiom – “put your mouth where the money is.” Should money be replaced with “trust”.

    I was watching 3 idiots last Sunday and thought that kids like Rancho (character played by Amir Khan) – who could solve problems of class 10th while studying in class 6th – are not that rare in India. You go to Super 30 in Bihar, or any institute in Kota (Aakash, Bansal etc) you would encounter many such kids. Then what happens? Why don’t we see such extraordinary kids as stars of tomorrow? Because in future all these kids realize that the only measurement stick (metric) this world has is – Money! See the video of Staffi Graph – how much money do you have? Well, I am not blaming Staffi for that. This is just a representative video of our society. The measurement of success is how much money do you have? Not how did you get it. Also, the measurement is not how satisfied or happy you are?

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlA_hL3NyyU]

    When these extraordinary kids get out of college, are paid enough and more so that they do “what the company wants them to do”, not what they would want to do. Most of them choose to accept that offer because measurement metric for the society is – Money.

    Let us flip the coin and say “Trust” is the currency. What would happen? Those who have hoards of currency may be the most bankrupt people on the earth. Perhaps, a business of trading of trust would start (Bomday Trust Exchange or National Trust Exchange). Would the world be a different place then when currency would be mutual trust (well not necessarily Mutual such as DLF and Robert Vadra ;))

    The day I started writing this blog I also had a brief discussion with Mr Shreekant Shiralkar and he was of the opinion – Money becomes immaterial after a certain time, what you do, what satisfaction you get from work and the trust you build is important. When he said Trust his thoughts were different compared to what I am presenting here. However, what I feel is the currency for future should be trust you build, the good you do to the society and how satisfied and happy you are.

  • Cogito ergo sum







    I always wonder about these things… what is the difference between we human beings and animals? They are also living being, then what is the difference? This thought comes again and again in my mind. Recently when I was watching the movie Ice Age 2: The Meltdown. The thought again came in my mind – whats the difference? Most interesting part is – the protagonists in the movie are animals.

    Whenever I watch that movie, one character pops out – “on the face” – often and it reminds me of us – the human beings. It is the squirrel – Scrat. In every screen it is fighting for its corn – similar to our life. The corn represents our jobs, loved ones and issues faced regularly etc etc and alas! the list never ends. And secondly, the fight and the run never ends!

    Cogito, Ergo Sum is a philosophical statement by Descartes, meaning – I think, therefore I exist. Yes the proof of ‘my existence’ is that at least I am thinking that whether I exist or not, right? And the question of my existence is not just about existence; it is deeper, why are we doing what are we doing? And even further it goes to why do we exist? Because perhaps even without thinking of existence animals exist, right? And here the logic fails, I have heard saints saying – life does not listen to your logic. There has to be some reason of us having a more developed brain which gives us the capabilities to think about our existence and the question – why we exist? It is similar to phophobia – fear of phobia, existence of the question of existence :).

    Whatever the case is – I think, therefore I exist! And we all exist like the Scrat in the mids of the fish (e.g. ourselves, our friends and enemies) trying to save our corn e.g. ourselves, job, loved one etc etc.

    Image source – www.imdb.com