My daughter, Adviti is growing up. She has started asserting her liking and choices gradually. She decides what she wants to eat when she wants to change the song, and what she wants to wear. It is turning out to be a fascinating life lesson for me.
We start making choices since childhood. I remember spending time with my niece Chinu when she started making choices. She liked watching Kung Fu Panda (movie) I enjoyed watching Kung Fu Panda with her, she also collected pebbles as I did as a kid.
I believe some of our choices are involuntary, and some are self-made. Let me take an example – Adviti likes us chanting of Bhojan Mantra (video below) before meals because she has seen us doing it for as much as the last six months. I wonder if she understands it, or whether the rendition is clear. However, she loves it, and if we start eating our meal without the chanting, she forces us to chant the mantra. Possibly this is what Sanskar is. I’d call it an involuntary choice – I may be wrong though, she may be forcing us because she understands! When she changes the Youtube video – it is most likely a self-made choice.
Choices, Liking and Love
Though I found time now to write about it, however, I had been thinking about Adviti’s likes, dislikes, and choices for a while. Those who know me know that for my arrange marriage I met two dozen girls. Many rejected me, I rejected some. In these discussions, some accused me of – you are not proceeding further “because I am fat”; “because I am darker shade” etc. I had to respond to these because these were genuinely not the reasons. I will share few arguments that I shared with these prospective alliances.
One, on complexion, I said, let’s assume I get to marry the fairest girl in the world. Every evening I come from the office. and we start fighting on a trifling matter. In that case, what is the value of the “fairness” to me? It is said that beauty is skin deep, isn’t it?
Two, on complexion and shape, I said, let’s assume I get married to someone, she met with an accident, or I met with an accident resulting in a body deformity. Would the other person leave the better half who met with an accident? I had to take this example because one alliance had such an incident. I had to tell her that such things are possible after marriage too. A bad example but I took such an example.
Lastly, on the shape, I said who is going to remain like this forever? With age, we all will be out of shape. why worry about it from now? One must be fit for a healthier life but one should not take serious decisions giving one-factor full weightage.
Those long discussions (or at times long-distance discussions), in some cases the contest of mind vs heart, for alliances made me look at likes and dislikes little objectively. I asked myself – if I love someone because of face or shape or behavior (or family – yes Indian marriages are not just two people it is their family and extended family too) what if one parameter changes in the same person? In the end, I came to realize – choices are made (or someone or something is loved) because of the whole and not because of the parts. Check this section of an Indian movie – Nayak the real hero – where protagonist is explaining his “dream girl” and what that turns out to be by his father who is a cartoonist.
If I love someone or something – I love that because of the uniqueness. The uniqueness includes possible flaws. If I had to respond to “why I love someone or something” what would my response be? If my response is because of X, Y, Z and A, B, C, etc. There may be more people with those same qualities. Would it be possible to love those others too? This question helped me realize the lower strata of love. This stratum is for love, liking, or choices we make in the material world. The spiritual world has compassionate affection – of the Buddha – for everyone or full devotion – Bhakti – for the loved one.
The realization was that we make choices in the whole and start intellectualizing the choices part by part for bringing balance between heart and mind. This justification brings reasoning of “why” and “because of”. Most likely Adviti makes her self-made choices on the whole, once she grows older she too will start intellectualizing the choices to justify her liking.
It’s no good having our prayers answered If they are not answered at the right time:
In ancient India much store was set by the Vedic rites which were said to be so scientific in their application that when the sages prayed for rain there was never any drought. It is thus that a man set himself to pray, according to these rites, to the goddess of wealth, Lakshmi, begging her to make him rich.
He prayed to no effect for ten long years, after which period of time, he suddenly saw the illusory nature of wealth and adopted the life of a renunciate in the Himalayas.
He was sitting in meditation one day when he opened his eyes and saw before him an extraordinarily beautiful woman, all bright and shining as if she were made of gold.
“Who are you and what are you doing here?” he asked.
“I am the goddess Lakshmi to whom you recited hymns for twelve years,” said the woman. “I have appeared to grant you your desire.”
“Ah, my dear goddess,” exclaimed the man, “I have since attained the bliss of meditation and lost my desire for wealth. You come too late. Tell me, why did you delay so long in coming?”
“To tell you the truth,” said the goddess, “Given the nature of those rites you so faithfully performed you had fully earned the wealth. But, in my love for you and my desire for your welfare, I held it back.”
If you had the choice, which would you choose: the granting of your petition or the grace to be peaceful whether it is granted or not?
It is a 4-part exploration of why we lose interest in personal and professional life, what it reveals about our inner alignment, and how to rekindle purpose through a blend of introspection, systems thinking, and spiritual grounding.
Read my old blog on the similar concept. Circumstances – are you a victim or a victor?
This was one of my learnings based on an interesting book The Three Laws of Performance.
It starts with a skipped morning ritual. A meeting you once led with fire now feels like a checkbox. The work you once loved becomes… well, tolerable. And slowly, without alarms or announcements, the inner engine stalls.
I’ve seen this in boardrooms and classrooms. In CXOs and students. In myself.
But why does it happen?
The Psychology of Disinterest
Research in behavioral science calls it anhedonia – the loss of interest or pleasure in things that once mattered. But in real life, it’s rarely clinical. It’s cumulative.
Micro-disappointments: A string of unmet expectations; promotions that didn’t come, ideas that weren’t heard, relationships that frayed.
Misaligned values: When what you do daily drifts too far from what you believe in.
Over-optimization: When life becomes a spreadsheet of KPIs, and joy is nowhere on the dashboard.
We don’t just burn out from doing too much. We burn out from doing too little of what matters.
Is It Really Disinterest or A Deeper Insight?
Here’s a contrarian view: What if losing interest is not a failure – but a signal?
A signal that your inner compass is working. That your soul is whispering, “This isn’t it.” That your current path, while logical, no longer feels meaningful.
I’ve seen leaders who walked away from high-paying roles not because they were weak; but because they saw something others didn’t. They sensed the cost of staying misaligned. And they chose differently.
The First Step Back: Awareness
Before we talk about solutions, let’s pause.
If you’re feeling disinterested, don’t rush to fix it. Sit with it. Ask:
What part of my life feels heavy?
Where am I pretending to care?
What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?
Sometimes, the most strategic move is to stop performing and start listening.
A Hint of the Spiritual
In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna doesn’t tell Arjuna to quit the battlefield. He helps him see it differently. The war outside mirrors the war within.
Maybe your disinterest isn’t a dead end. Maybe it’s a doorway.
Losing interest isn’t the problem. Losing awareness is. When we stop noticing the drift, we normalize the numbness. But when we notice it, we reclaim choice.
In the next blog, I’ll explore how to decode this disinterest – how to tell if it’s burnout, boredom, or a call to evolve.
Until then, pause. Listen. The silence might be saying more than you think.
Remember the days of limited educational choices? Back then, the state board was the only option, a true “choiceless choice.” This “choiceless choice” reminded me of a concept in Indian spirituality – but that’s a conversation for another time!
Fast forward to today, not only there are so many boards but also they are USPs of each. Recently, in one session in my daughter’s school where they were introducing parents to different boards, the presenter emphasized the importance of asking questions as a core value. This sparked a thought: isn’t this very principle a cornerstone of both business success and spiritual exploration?
Inquisitiveness, they argued, was a core value of their educational philosophy. It got me thinking – I actually did the same thing with my daughter, Adviti, from a young age. I instilled in her the habit of asking “why” whenever something wasn’t clear. Though she is too young still and was even younger at that time to understand the meaning of asking questions.
Questioning Your Assumptions (Even in Business)
I have written on questioning your assumptions earlier as well. Here is an interesting story – I’ve been into management consulting. In such service business we do have tailored solutions yet the solutions have similar framework. We’re presenting to a potential client, during the discussions prospects and we were asking insightful questions to each other simultaneously learning about needs and challenges. By actively listening, engaging and asking for clarification, we tailor our solution as per their needs and secure a happy client.
The learning is – Asking questions demonstrates genuine interest, builds trust, and leads to better outcomes.
The Art of the Question (and When Not to Take Offense)
However, there are times when asking questions can be misconstrued. Imagine being added to a group by a senior colleague, only to discover a highly charged political atmosphere. When someone questions a post and you provide factual references to support it, you might expect a discussion, right? Wrong. Suddenly, you’re removed without explanation. This frustrating experience begs the question: When does a simple “why” or “what are the rules” become offensive?
It happened with me twice. A very senior person of my institute added me in his group of institute alumni. I did not know the rules of the group and later on came to know he is highly politically motivated. One fine day someone posted something and the admin questioned the varsity of the post. To bolster the original post, I shared news article links. Admin removed the person who had posted the message.
I replied, why have you removed him, I gave you references of sources, what the person wrote is correct. He did not respond. I asked – “what are the rules of the group?” What constitute a valid datapoint? “I was removed”.
This person is very senior retired officer of a PSU. I wondered if government offices in India worked like that few decades back. There were no set of rules and still you have to follow some rules? This is an inference from this individual’s stupidity, I may be wrong about the functioning of Govt offices in the past though.
So, when I asked some other alumni, I was told “Lunatic hai”, “even after retirement PSU mindset not gone”. I said, I want to know the rules of the group. I never got a response from him nor others in the group. I wish he gets a ticket to contest an election from his favourite pollical party, he would have a reality check ????
Is Curiosity a Lost Art?
Perhaps it’s a self-esteem issue. Could a fear of being challenged lead someone to shut down curiosity? It certainly makes you wonder what happens to those who can’t tolerate a healthy exchange of ideas. (This is a great discussion point in the comments! What are your thoughts?)
The Power of Curiosity in Spirituality
Now, let’s explore the spiritual angle. Indian spirituality often emphasizes the importance of inquiry. I have written on it earlier as well – there is no other religion of country where so many people have asked so many authorities. I am pretty sure if Indians will see God in human form, they will not spare him/her and ask umpteen questions to him/her. Take an example of Arjuna asking Krishna!
The Buddha travelled from one monastery to the other and had many teachers in his quest to Nirvana. He too had many questions, some answered by each of the teachers and some he learnt himself. Isn’t the entire concept of seeking enlightenment fueled by a deep-seated curiosity about the nature of reality and our place within it? Just like in business and education, asking questions paves the way for deeper understanding.
So, Let’s All Be Curious!
Here’s the takeaway: There are no bad questions! Asking questions demonstrates your engagement, your eagerness to learn, and your openness to new information. It helps you grasp information better, challenge assumptions, and ultimately, find better solutions. So next time you have a question, don’t hold back! Your curiosity might just unlock a world of possibilities, both personally and professionally. After all, life is short. Let’s embrace open discussions and learn from each other, just like my daughter is learning at her school!
Image source – Photo by willsantt: https://www.pexels.com/photo/child-holding-clear-glass-jar-with-yellow-light-2026960/
Mumbai taxi drivers are relatively honest. Before Google Maps, they used to propose or inform that the alternative route has more traffic (time) or this route is shorter (distance), etc. The Kali pili taxi drivers took the best route to drop you from one place to another. Well, what can a taxi driver teach you about culture and leadership? There is another story 🙂 here with multiple learnings.
Even if you are the CEO of a company, when you are sitting in a taxi or your car, the “driver” “leads” you :), is not it an interesting fact?
If your driver is as intelligent as the Kali Pili driver of old Mumbai days, he would inform you or at least ask you.
Should we take this route, I heard on the radio there is traffic on another route. Or
Sir, which route to take?
In short, even if you are the leader at times you need to give the reign to someone else to make a correct decision.
If you keep your eyes and ears open if you are ready to take a break, contemplate, and introspect there are a lot of learnings from our own life. I will share an old story with some learnings or organizational culture, leadership, communication, and trust.
Team building
It was the summer of 2007 or 08. We went off-site for a strategy meeting. We had a lot of interesting ideas, goals for the year, and planning work. The activities and brainstorming were intense. Our team had organized team-building exercises as well.
In one of the activities, two of my colleagues and I were to select our respective teams. Each one of us selected our favorite colleague for our teams.
We three – Reena, Shan [Name changed], and I – followed our instructor. Our instructor took us to a corner. Our teams could not see us from that place. The instructor’s three support staff stayed with our teams for some other activities with them.
The instructor showed us how to make a tent. He did it a few times for us so we can learn it and ask questions if we had any. During all this time, we were unaware of what the activities support staff was up to with our teams.
We returned after some time. All our team members were blindfolded. The instructor and support staff gave us our tents and asked us to stand in open areas with our team. Then came the final note to us. The instructor started – “You are competing with other teams. Your team members cannot speak or see. They have to simply follow your instructions. You have to be as clear as possible, your team members are blindfolded. Examples of your instructions go five steps left pick this item, go left three steps. Give it to the next person and so on”
We all laughed plus we were amazed. Later, when the timer started, we were all competing seriously. It was damn difficult to instruct our team members. Mind you, we selected each one of them amongst our already well-known colleagues. Yet in the present situation, it was difficult to even communicate and make it work.
Somehow, we all finished our activities. Reena’s team came first. My team finished second, and Shan’s team could complete the last.
Learning
There were many such activities and learning too. There were umpteen Culture and Leadership learnings from this one activity.
The activity ended. Our team member’s opened their eyes. The first thing for Reena and my team was a surprise. During the activity, they were unaware of what they were doing. When they saw a tent, they said we were unaware of what we were making.
Shaan’s team member said – “though we were the last in this competition, the best thing that happened to us was that our leader told us what we were going to do. We were blindfolded, were trying to make sense of how would it look like, and yet were enjoying it.”
The instructor asked Reena and my team members. What were you feeling? The responses were like this, we were-
lost,
unengaged,
clueless about why we were doing what we were doing
we felt like a cattle herd that had almost no say in anything
Suddenly everyone laughed. The instructor added, literally yes! You had no say because you were not seeing what was shaping up right in front of you. We all smiled once again.
The instructor turned to us, the leaders. He questioned us, how are you feeling? What was going on in your mind? Why had you instructed the way you instructed the team members.
I replied in shock.
I assumed that when you were training us how to make a tent, your support team taught the same to our teams as well. So, even though when we returned from our training, I was shocked that everyone is blindfolded. Yet in my mind, I was sure, what if they are blindfolded, they know they are going to make a tent.
Secondly, I was frustrated that we had to instruct in small sentences. The instructions were as detailed as moving five steps ahead.
Thirdly, the team I had selected was the closest of my colleagues. Yet, it was difficult to communicate with them and get the work done. I never had any such difficulty working with them daily otherwise. We were just behind Reena’s team, we could have won it had the communication been a little sorted.
The worst was yet to come. The instructor asked all of the teams – if we continue with another activity, would you want to continue working with the same leader or want a change? Many of Shaan’s team members said they will stick with the leader. Some of Reena and my team members said they may want to move. When the instructor asked reasons for requesting the move – some gave few reasons – such as frustration was visible (correction audible) in the leader’s statements. I want to be on the winning team’s side. I want to be with a leader I am comfortable with.
The instructor further probed the team members. You did not hear the other leaders instruct, how can you be sure other leaders were not as frustrated? How do you know or feel that in the next activity any of the other teams will win and not your current team?
This made team members contemplate further, some said, we may want to work with another leader who we feel is more considerate, and feel we can be more productive under them. Sure, we cannot guarantee winning when working under the other leader but hope working under another leader could be encouraging.
It was getting a bit awkward, especially for me and Reena. Most of the team members were from our teams. The instructor sensed it and started concluding the activity and lessons for all of us.
As a leader, it is your responsibility to communicate your vision as clearly as possible. Shaan did it, and though his team was last, it was a better working team. Had we continued with other activities they might have won. Takeaway – communication makes culture.
As a leader, you have to bring the best out of your subordinates. Reena was more resourceful and could get the most out of the team.
Make your goals and objectives clear to your team. Never assume your team knows what is expected or the goal they need to achieve. Pravin assumed the team knew what is expected from the team. He further assumed that the team knew what they were doing, the only thing is this time around they are blindfolded.
When communication breaks or is not done timely, it may make things difficult. Within half an hour you “selected” teams of your choice and had a tough time with them in this half an hour. You knew your team and leaders well even before the start of this game. Think about new hires or working professionally!
Frustration does not fulfill the task at hand. You have to either ask your leader to clarify or the leader has to clarify sensing the situation.
You cannot define winning in real-life situations, yet, you have won as a leader if you can keep your team together. People wanted to switch sides for multiple reasons this will happen always.
Summary
The lessons from this exercise go from Culture, Communication to Leadership and Trust.
Bring clarity with goals and objective communication for each project. Instead of getting frustrated ask if the team member needs help or is unclear. This fortunately or unfortunately applies to the team members as well – if they have a concern they should raise it. Though it requires openness in the culture that a subordinate can question for a reasonable answer.
At times you need to listen to the nondescripts. On a lighter note, you may feel this nondescript is blindfolded! 🙂 In fact, sometimes give that nondescript a chance to make a decision for you however small the decision is such as which route to select.
Be it, the Mumbai Kali Pili taxi drivers, or for that matter your car driver. Leadership is listening to your team and giving up on your assumption as well.
I lived in Dhar, a small district headquarters in Madhya Pradesh. It is a small city or say a town. It is a peaceful city with low crime rates. I hope it is still like that. This small place taught me how to handle your fears, it does not include the Fear of the God. Those days there was no fear kidnapping or children lost in the city. So, we kids used to go from one place to the other alone unquestioned.
Dog of our area
In Dhar, like any other city in India, you could see domestic animals on road. Stray dogs were no surprise either. There was a stray dog in our area. We walked that place multiple times daily. This dog was tough to handle. It used to bark, run behind, fight with other dogs, and occasionally bite. We kids were scared to cross the place when we learnt about the dog. In fact, we were “dog fearing”.
We could not stop going to school because of the dog. We devised a plan, we started keeping stones in our hands. Whenever we saw the dog, we threw stones at him and ran away from that area. This dog-fear gave us a solution to scare the dog away rather than be scared.
But why am I telling this story to you? This story has a very nasty relation and question to you – How can you “respect” someone as scary as a mad dog? I know when you read further you may hate me or be disappointed because I am questioning your beliefs. But I must pose this question to you. How can you be “God fearing”? If God is such fearful entity, it must be called a demon, isn’t it? If God is good, we should have a healthy relation with him/her and not a fearful one.
God fearing
If you have followed my blog for past few years you must have read about my marriage alliances. In my matrimony profile I had written “I am spiritual but not necessarily religious”. Some of the prospective alliances confused it with “religious”. So, prospective bride or bride’s family told multiple types of stories around their being religious.
At some of the interactions I smiled and explained to a few that I rarely go to a traditional temple. I may call few places as places for my worship such as my art of living center where I go for weekly sadhana or meditation practices.
After a few attempts, I started ignoring it – spirituality does not necessarily mean religious. I had lost interest to explain it to people. Why? Because I met about two dozen families or alliances for the alliance discussion.
Once, I heard a very interesting new term. “I am god fearing”. I had never heard it earlier, I was impressed and surprised too. Probably I was less educated about religion. I had to ask around what does this mean? Is it “religious?”
Spiritual not necessarily religious
Fortunately, I have some great mentors, one is Ramana uncleji. I shared this profile with him and asked him what does “God fearing” mean?
Uncleji told me – “None of the Indian religion teaches you fear. In fact, none teaches you fearing from God in specifics.”
I added – yes, I understand – Krishna is embodiment of love.
Uncleji continued – “Yes, the concept of fear of God is from Abrahamic religion (religions that started from the Central Asia). The girl is from a convent school.”
I was shocked, how could he figure it out? He was correct, though the profile did not have specifics of primary education. He said I understand it because mostly this is where you may learn the concept of fear from the Gods. Regular Indian family may hardly teach “Fear the Gods” at home.
He further added, the concept of fear from the God works when you must keep people in check and let them follow you “unquestionably”. Indian religions (Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism etc) hardly force you to follow the diktat without questioning.
I further mumbled – that’s correct, Arjuna asks questions to Krishna in Bhagvad Geeta. Vashishtha answers to Rama in Yog Vashishtha. In Ashtavakra Geeta, Ashtavakra discusses with Janaka and Shiva Sutra is full of questions from Parvati. We Indians have argued with almost every God.
Spiritual vs religious the difference
I have met many people who keep on bowing whenever they see a temple. It happens at times when the closing of eyes and folding of hands looks like an involuntary action. Involuntary action means something that happens without your conscious choice; examples are breathing, digestion and closing of eye in case of sudden light.
Namaste on the back
If you are just folding your hands without even your knowledge or without any deeper respect in your heart what is the meaning? It is like you closed your eyes when you saw a danger.
The idea of bowing down is not necessarily incorrect. Devotion makes you bow. This comes out of reverence and not fear. Bowing down can be a great mindful act and not an involuntary action, isn’t it?
Rarely, I saw that bowing down out of devotion or reverence. Mostly people bow down crossing any place of worship because of two reasons either they have some demand, or they are scared.
Fearing the God
In fact, I am amazed, the convent educated are a step ahead in the confusion. I saw these convent educated to make a cross on their face (similar to a Christian would do while crossing a church). I asked to one – what is that? She said we passed by the temple.
I smiled and said shouldn’t you be folding your hand?
I further inquired, why did you do that? The response was – it has become a habit. Really? A habit? Did you not learn something known as “respect”?
Fear created this habit. It is like an involuntary action, as a kid we used to keep stone when we saw fearsome dog in Dhar. How can you be a God-fearing person? How can you call yourself religious if you fear God?
At best the creature who gives you fear can be a fearsome villain, a monster or demon, if I say in Hindi an Asur or Rakshasa. You can fear a stray dog not the God. If you fear the God, it simply means you are taught incorrectly, there is likely a problem in your religious learning.
Next time, when you bow down remember – the temple or the Murti in the temple is just a representation. The God is omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent. You would know soon if you are religious – as conditioned in childhood – or spiritual. It is better the bowing down happens due to reverence and mindfulness rather than fear and involuntary.
In school, we studied the concept of survival of the fittest. However, learned it in Engineering. With the practicals lessons on “survival of the fittest” our tongue had learned tasting food without hurting itself from the hot food. With time, we must learn to develop taste for different things in life, be it good or bad food, experiences, situations, or practices. At least, we must be open to test and experience before making an opinion or choice. Once we develop taste, we can choose to continue with the new things or no, isn’t it?
The story
Pramod – my engineering batch-mate – was an awesome cook. He had a roommate whose nickname was Golu. Whenever Pramod used to cook, we used to wait for the final bell to open our attack on the food. I still remember the food, how can I forget the fragrance of lentils (dal) and rice?
Over time each one had learned, if you wait for the food to get warm, you would remain hungry. Everyone knew this and complied with the principle of attacking the food as soon as possible. Those days were unconventional.
Golu used to eat with us, however, after the meals he used to start finding fault – salt was less, there was no taste of spices, and so on. Initially, we responded, later we realized it was his habit. So we started ignoring it, yet Pramod had had enough of it. This happened so many times that once Pramod told him – “you won’t be allowed to even touch the utensil, forget eating.” We had dinner, washed utensils, and gave it to him. Golu started cooking we were watching him assuming he is a critique he must be a better cook.
Golu cooked; while he was cooking we’re aghast and repeatedly told him do not put so much red chilly powder, not so much turmeric, etc. The food was red due to red chilly powder. We refrained from eating the food. We knew it was terrible, however, he kept on praising himself – in vain – his facial expressions were enough for us.
Learning
The learning was – either you develop a taste – in this case, it was a rather wonderful food – for the food or learn cooking yourself. A larger lesson for life, we end up making an opinion about things without knowing much about those. Some times we make this error – we follow Yoga or take Ayurvedic medicine and make fun of the same in public. At times, people have not done meditation yet, they critique it. The best I would advise anyone is to practice meditation at least once even if you want to critique it. It would have a positive impact on you. Who knows, you would continue doing meditation, knowing what you have been missing in life?
Last week I wrote the biggest lesson that I learnt with Professor Tomas Lopez. Simple summary of the lesson, we’re conditioned to think in certain manner. It cause more trouble to our daily situation then anything else. I was fortunate to have been reminded of this problem of mine (our mind) by Professor Mankad too – read here. Professor Lopez put me out of my comfort zone many a times. Getting out of comfort zone is very important if you want to earn some pearls in life.
Here is a short story of loss, that one must avoid in life. This story is from the book – Prayers of the frog Volume 1 and Volume 2. An awesome book with short stories and life lessons.
Awareness
An oyster saw a loose pearl that had fallen into the crevice of a rock on the ocean bed. After great effort she managed to retrieve the pearl and place it just beside her on a leaf.
She knew that humans searched for pearls and thought, “This pearl will tempt them, so they will take it and let me be.”
When a pearl diver showed up, however, his eyes were conditioned to look for oysters and not for pearls resting on leaves.
So he grabbed the oyster which did not happen to have a pearl and allowed the real pearl to roll back into the crevice in the rock.
From the book – Prayers of the frog V1
The author concludes – Youknow exactly where to look. That is the reason why you fail to find God.
It happens with all of us, we look for happiness in something other than what we have in hand. This is where we end up being unhappy. Many a times we know the answer to – “When will I be happy?” Yet we miss the path to the goal. In fact, when we achieve the goal; our goal post has already changed. This is the problem of our mind, we are never calm, even before we reach somewhere we find the next destination. Here the destination can be as easy as the next venue for dinner or as ambitious as next company, job, or car. What we need to change is our way of thinking.
Our life experience and circumstances programs us to become a certain individual over time. Be it the diver of the above story, or me or you. We must ask a question to ourselves – are we ready to get out of our comfort zone?
How to get out of the comfort zone?
Our comfort zone is the worst enemy of our possibilities. As was the case with the Digger. I think we can get out of comfort zone by some of the ways such as
Think and know, you are nothing in front of the creation, why limit yourself, why feel low, embarrassed even before trying?
The Buddha also went beyond his comfort zone to be enlightened. In fact he had put his everything on the gamble. Let me know which one you can relate to? Or what you think is even better method of getting out of comfort zone, it would interesting to learn.
We celebrate the festival of Dussehra as win of good over evil. The conflicts were between two different parties – be it Rama and Ravana, Durga and Mahishasura. We are taught these overt conflicts. There is a subtle / covert lesson in these conflicts – the duality of mind. Our contest is with us inside our mind.
Ravana was very intelligent and capable ruler. As a kid, I watched Ramayana on TV. I used to ask this question to my siblings and parents – “how can a person have 10 heads?” To this I was told, it is symbolic. Ravana was so intelligent that he could have shashtrarth / serious discourse (discussions) with 10 different people simultaneously. Ravana was scholar of Shastras and Vedas, that’s the logic of saying 10 heads etc. Besides all this, Ravana was most respected devotees of Shiva. How can a devotee of the supreme lord be evil?
Imagine, a person of such caliber, such profound knowledge and power be known for all the wrong reasons! There are a couple of reasons for that; one is power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Further, we need to learn – “with great power comes great responsibilities”. As Uncle Parker says to Peter Parker in the Movie Spiderman.
When, I look at these historical (for some people mythological) events, I see the easiest way to avoid such conflict is the eight fold path of Buddhism.
Perfect Vision,
Perfected Emotion,
Right speech,
Right action,
Right livelihood,
Right effort,
Right mindfulness, and
Right meditation / Samadhi
These are the virtues that can be explained to our generation in different manner for example – right livelihood for the Buddha was dependent on begging. In current generation I believe everyone should be self-dependent for livelihood. When some scholars say Right resolve (in the above list it is replaced with emotion), they explain it as life of a hermit giving up the world. When the Buddha attained enlightened I remember reading in some text he said, “It is not necessary to leave the world, one can be enlightened being a family person”. He propounded the Middle path for the same.
The real flight or contest is within, we can be the best in anything – as Ravana was. However, what matters is how we remained centered to be good. So, if we start taking these eight fold path doctrine in context of our generation, we can be as intelligent as Ravana and as good as Rama. The choice is always ours. This Dussehra I wish we all learn to fight our internal conflicts and Good wins over the evil within.
I received this story on some group a couple of weeks back. I do not know the source now. It is so wonderful that I could not stop putting it here.
A young widower lived with his five-year-old son. He cherished his son more than his own life. One day he left his son at home while he went out on business. When he was gone, brigands came and robbed and burned the entire village. They kidnapped his son. When the man returned home, he found the charred corpse of a young child lying beside his burned house.
He took it to be the body of his own son. He wailed in grief and cremated what was left of the corpse. Because he loved his son so dearly, he put the ashes in a bag which he carried with him everywhere he went. Several months later, his son managed to escape from the brigands and make his way home. He arrived in the middle of the night and knocked at the door. At that moment, the father was hugging the bag of ashes and weeping. He refused to open the door even when the child called out that he was the man’s son. He believed that his own son was dead and that the child knocking at the door was some neighborhood child mocking his grief. Finally, his son had no choice but to wander off on his own. Thus father and son lost each other forever.
If we are attached to some belief and hold it to be the absolute truth, we may one day find ourselves in a similar situation as the young widower. Thinking that we already possess the truth, we will be unable to open our minds to receive the truth, even if truth comes knocking at our door.
