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Six lessons on Culture and Leadership from a team exercise
Mumbai taxi drivers are relatively honest. Before Google Maps, they used to propose or inform that the alternative route has more traffic (time) or this route is shorter (distance), etc. The Kali pili taxi drivers took the best route to drop you from one place to another. Well, what can a taxi driver teach you about culture and leadership? There is another story 🙂 here with multiple learnings.

Even if you are the CEO of a company, when you are sitting in a taxi or your car, the “driver” “leads” you :), is not it an interesting fact?

If your driver is as intelligent as the Kali Pili driver of old Mumbai days, he would inform you or at least ask you.
1. Should we take this route, I heard on the radio there is traffic on another route. Or
2. Sir, which route to take?
In short, even if you are the leader at times you need to give the reign to someone else to make a correct decision.

If you keep your eyes and ears open if you are ready to take a break, contemplate, and introspect there are a lot of learnings from our own life. I will share an old story with some learnings or organizational culture, leadership, communication, and trust.

Team building

It was the summer of 2007 or 08. We went off-site for a strategy meeting. We had a lot of interesting ideas, goals for the year, and planning work. The activities and brainstorming were intense. Our team had organized team-building exercises as well.

In one of the activities, two of my colleagues and I were to select our respective teams. Each one of us selected our favorite colleague for our teams.

We three – Reena, Shan [Name changed], and I – followed our instructor. Our instructor took us to a corner. Our teams could not see us from that place. The instructor’s three support staff stayed with our teams for some other activities with them.

The instructor showed us how to make a tent. He did it a few times for us so we can learn it and ask questions if we had any. During all this time, we were unaware of what the activities support staff was up to with our teams.

We returned after some time. All our team members were blindfolded. The instructor and support staff gave us our tents and asked us to stand in open areas with our team. Then came the final note to us. The instructor started – “You are competing with other teams. Your team members cannot speak or see. They have to simply follow your instructions. You have to be as clear as possible, your team members are blindfolded. Examples of your instructions go five steps left pick this item, go left three steps. Give it to the next person and so on”

We all laughed plus we were amazed. Later, when the timer started, we were all competing seriously. It was damn difficult to instruct our team members. Mind you, we selected each one of them amongst our already well-known colleagues. Yet in the present situation, it was difficult to even communicate and make it work.

Somehow, we all finished our activities. Reena’s team came first. My team finished second, and Shan’s team could complete the last.

Learning

There were many such activities and learning too. There were umpteen Culture and Leadership learnings from this one activity.

The activity ended. Our team member’s opened their eyes. The first thing for Reena and my team was a surprise. During the activity, they were unaware of what they were doing. When they saw a tent, they said we were unaware of what we were making.

Shaan’s team member said – “though we were the last in this competition, the best thing that happened to us was that our leader told us what we were going to do. We were blindfolded, were trying to make sense of how would it look like, and yet were enjoying it.”

The instructor asked Reena and my team members. What were you feeling? The responses were like this, we were-
1. lost,
2. unengaged,
3. clueless about why we were doing what we were doing
4. we felt like a cattle herd that had almost no say in anything
Suddenly everyone laughed. The instructor added, literally yes! You had no say because you were not seeing what was shaping up right in front of you. We all smiled once again.

The instructor turned to us, the leaders. He questioned us, how are you feeling? What was going on in your mind? Why had you instructed the way you instructed the team members.

I replied in shock.

I assumed that when you were training us how to make a tent, your support team taught the same to our teams as well. So, even though when we returned from our training, I was shocked that everyone is blindfolded. Yet in my mind, I was sure, what if they are blindfolded, they know they are going to make a tent.

Secondly, I was frustrated that we had to instruct in small sentences. The instructions were as detailed as moving five steps ahead.

Thirdly, the team I had selected was the closest of my colleagues. Yet, it was difficult to communicate with them and get the work done. I never had any such difficulty working with them daily otherwise. We were just behind Reena’s team, we could have won it had the communication been a little sorted.

The worst was yet to come. The instructor asked all of the teams – if we continue with another activity, would you want to continue working with the same leader or want a change? Many of Shaan’s team members said they will stick with the leader. Some of Reena and my team members said they may want to move. When the instructor asked reasons for requesting the move – some gave few reasons – such as frustration was visible (correction audible) in the leader’s statements. I want to be on the winning team’s side. I want to be with a leader I am comfortable with.

The instructor further probed the team members. You did not hear the other leaders instruct, how can you be sure other leaders were not as frustrated? How do you know or feel that in the next activity any of the other teams will win and not your current team?

This made team members contemplate further, some said, we may want to work with another leader who we feel is more considerate, and feel we can be more productive under them. Sure, we cannot guarantee winning when working under the other leader but hope working under another leader could be encouraging.

It was getting a bit awkward, especially for me and Reena. Most of the team members were from our teams. The instructor sensed it and started concluding the activity and lessons for all of us.
1. As a leader, it is your responsibility to communicate your vision as clearly as possible. Shaan did it, and though his team was last, it was a better working team. Had we continued with other activities they might have won. Takeaway – communication makes culture.
2. As a leader, you have to bring the best out of your subordinates. Reena was more resourceful and could get the most out of the team.
3. Make your goals and objectives clear to your team. Never assume your team knows what is expected or the goal they need to achieve. Pravin assumed the team knew what is expected from the team. He further assumed that the team knew what they were doing, the only thing is this time around they are blindfolded.
4. When communication breaks or is not done timely, it may make things difficult. Within half an hour you “selected” teams of your choice and had a tough time with them in this half an hour. You knew your team and leaders well even before the start of this game. Think about new hires or working professionally!
5. Frustration does not fulfill the task at hand. You have to either ask your leader to clarify or the leader has to clarify sensing the situation.
6. You cannot define winning in real-life situations, yet, you have won as a leader if you can keep your team together. People wanted to switch sides for multiple reasons this will happen always.
Summary

The lessons from this exercise go from Culture, Communication to Leadership and Trust.

Bring clarity with goals and objective communication for each project. Instead of getting frustrated ask if the team member needs help or is unclear. This fortunately or unfortunately applies to the team members as well – if they have a concern they should raise it. Though it requires openness in the culture that a subordinate can question for a reasonable answer.

At times you need to listen to the nondescripts. On a lighter note, you may feel this nondescript is blindfolded! 🙂 In fact, sometimes give that nondescript a chance to make a decision for you however small the decision is such as which route to select.

Be it, the Mumbai Kali Pili taxi drivers, or for that matter your car driver. Leadership is listening to your team and giving up on your assumption as well.

Image sources – Taxi – track.in. Tent Photo by Vanessa Garcia, communication, assumptions Photo by fauxels
April 17, 2022
Back to the basics – 4 unforgettable lessons for life
We’d just returned from our B-school. We were living in a small apartment. One of our roommates said, “there is an AdMad competition tomorrow, I have registered our team”. AdMad was a competition for creating an advertisement for a random brand such as Superman’s underwear or Bereavement services. This night I learnt 4 unforgettable lesssons for life.

When it comes to ad creation, I am not that creative. I could at best play a second Fidel. After some discussion, somehow we – as a team – were ready for the competition.

Organizers had very unique conditions. This is generally the case when you are competing in B-school competitions.

The topics or brands were given late evening. We had to submit our entries by 5 AM the next day. Teams could not make corrections after submission etc. It was one hell of a challenge, not because of the terms and conditions – we were used to it by now. It was a tough task because such creative expression was new for us all engineers :). Additionally, the topics were beyond imagination.

Where to start?

When we got our brand, we started brainstorming. I was completely clueless about where to start. Then it stuck to us, let’s go to our lessons of “Integrated Marketing Communication” course notes. Mr. Sohan Shah taught us the course, he had taught us this course with a practical approach.

Learning – Desperately search for options, explore all the possibilities, and ask for help if needed.

In teams put ego aside

We got a good approach to start our entry. However, life is not that easy. After some initial brainstorming, we were working on my laptop for the final entry. My laptop had a battery issue. So, after some work, I requested two of my teammates to join me in the room. I and one other teammate were working in my room.

This small incident turned into an ego issue. One friend said “why can’t you come here?”

I explained the problem. Call it our naivety or any of the other multiple reasons – the pressure of participation and our other studies, fear of failure, the anxiety of doing something for the first time, and of course ego. We argued on where to work?

Forget about anything we did not have any creative concept on the board to have “creative differences” :).

We debated on sitting in one room or the other to start work. We stopped the project and tasks completely on a random non-issue. It was midnight. We were nowhere close to completing our submission.

After a while, I gave up and said I didn’t give my name as a team member, I won’t go. Whoever registered the team it’s his responsibility. The other two held their ground. The most composed of our team members was trying to build the bridge. All in vain. We were all in our beds, kind of giving up on the competition.

Some time passed, I came out and said if my name is on the list I will stand there on the podium even if I don’t have anything. I won’t run away. So, finally, two out of the four started working again.

Learning – Keep aside ego when it comes to a group task. Find solutions instead of issues.

Go back to the basics

We started off from where we had left. Where are the notes? Lets check what we learnt in “Integrated Marketing Communication” course. We started working on the basics.
- Chapter 1, market research. What does customer research say about our brand? These are the finding.
- Chapter 2 Segmentation, Targeting. Find who is the best fit segment or segments. How to address their needs
- Chapter 3 Positioning. Let’s write a positioning statement. We followed the instructions to the tee as if someone is teaching us to write sentences. The statement was making sense.
- Chapter 4 Ad insight. What is the insight and how do we want to communicate as per the insight.
- Chapter 5 Execution – the storyboard.
The two team members had given some creatives for the entry. The rest of the creatives we search including the iStock images. It was looking really shabby. But finally, something was shaping up as a coherent story.

We concluded the entry by the wee hours. Reviewed our entry and sent it to the organizing committee and our other two teammates. They were still upset, nevertheless.

Learning – Go back to the basics and build up from there.

Do not be afraid, give it your 100%

Finally, after completing our regular classroom schedule, we were in the hall. The competition started. I and my friend were in the hall looking for our other team members. They had decided not to join.

One after the other teams presented their Ad or concepts. With each entry, I and my friend were literally sinking in our chairs. There were awesome videos, wonderful jingles, music, roleplays everything except a PowerPoint. We had a deck! On top of it, it was a bland deck.

Our entry was after 70% of the teams. We’re scared to even stand on the dais. But as I had said, I won’t back out. I will stand even without an entry if my name is there.

Our names came. Both of us went on the stage. The first thing was – only two out of a team of four were present. I started off “After this ad we’ve so many orders that the other two are working on backend supply chain and distribution channels :)” We could not discuss the issue we had on dias, isn’t it?

I started off the presentation again Chapter by Chapter of Mr. Shah’s class “Integrated Marketing Communication”. It was too convincing I think. Initially, people tried hooting us, but slowly the seriousness seeped in, and everyone was listening. We concluded the deck. Since there was silence, we felt it was damn boring and people dosed off within 2 mins. It was completely against the other interesting concepts, from fun to seriousness.

Once the last team had presented, it was jury time. We knew the result, we were the most frustrating, boring, and bland Ad. I and my teammate were sitting and listening to the results. First, and second prize was obvious. Ideally, it was the end of the competition. However, Professor Tomas Lopez (Sir I miss you) continued.

This is Professor Lopez virtually beating me with his shoe

He said – It was a great competition. All of you put in a lot of effort and brought some wonderful concepts. There were funny ads, emotional ads, good role plays, use of AV, technology, music everything. However, there was one ad that could bring customers to the counter, sales for the business. I know the execution or presentation could have been better, but given time and opportunity, it could be done. This special second runner-up is for “our team”.

We were astonished. But we were happy. It was a great surprise and the words of appreciation were more than the prize. It was our first such attempt – we all were engineers :).

Learning – Do not be afraid, give it your 100%. When in doubt go back to the basics and give it your 100%

Lessons

The lessons from this incident go beyond B-school. The learning is for personal, professional, social, and spiritual all walks of life. The lessons are
1. Search for options, explore all the possibilities, and ask for help if needed
2. Ego should not come in our way when it comes to a group task.
3. Go back to the basics and build up from there.
4. Do not be afraid, give it your 100%. When in doubt back to the basics and give it your 100%
5. Bonus – one must follow the plan and path carefully until that becomes second nature. They as it takes 10,000 hours to master something.
6. Additional bonus – Find solutions instead of issues.
We had challenges as a team. Our creative expressions were limited. We had unnecessary issues that we could avoid. For example – I could save work on my laptop. Put it to sleep go to the other room and start discussions. It was an easy solution that I didn’t apply.

We did a few things correctly. Going back to the basics and giving our 100%. Whenever in doubt go back to the basics. I have heard that when a boxer loses and his confidence is low, he goes back to smaller level competitions besides practice.

Since we were doing such creative work for the first time, the lesson is – one must follow the plan and path carefully until that becomes second nature. It is said that it takes about 10,000 hours to master a skill isn’t it?

I can go on giving examples of the lessons from personal, professional, social or spiritual life however that is for some other day.

Until then you can do your introspection on how these lessons could help you in your past incidents? It is likely that you did not apply and now you think I wish I had done that. It is likely that you did apply and now you think it made a positive difference. Do share your thoughts.

Image source Ego –

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Back to basics – Photo by Mathieu Turle on Unsplash
March 2, 2022
Mindful or Involuntary action, are you spiritual or religious?

I lived in Dhar, a small district headquarters in Madhya Pradesh. It is a small city or say a town. It is a peaceful city with low crime rates. I hope it is still like that. This small place taught me how to handle your fears, it does not include the Fear of the God. Those days there was no fear kidnapping or children lost in the city. So, we kids used to go from one place to the other alone unquestioned.

Dog of our area

In Dhar, like any other city in India, you could see domestic animals on road. Stray dogs were no surprise either. There was a stray dog in our area. We walked that place multiple times daily. This dog was tough to handle. It used to bark, run behind, fight with other dogs, and occasionally bite. We kids were scared to cross the place when we learnt about the dog. In fact, we were “dog fearing”.

We could not stop going to school because of the dog. We devised a plan, we started keeping stones in our hands. Whenever we saw the dog, we threw stones at him and ran away from that area. This dog-fear gave us a solution to scare the dog away rather than be scared.

But why am I telling this story to you? This story has a very nasty relation and question to you – How can you “respect” someone as scary as a mad dog? I know when you read further you may hate me or be disappointed because I am questioning your beliefs. But I must pose this question to you. How can you be “God fearing”? If God is such fearful entity, it must be called a demon, isn’t it? If God is good, we should have a healthy relation with him/her and not a fearful one.

God fearing

If you have followed my blog for past few years you must have read about my marriage alliances. In my matrimony profile I had written “I am spiritual but not necessarily religious”. Some of the prospective alliances confused it with “religious”. So, prospective bride or bride’s family told multiple types of stories around their being religious.

At some of the interactions I smiled and explained to a few that I rarely go to a traditional temple. I may call few places as places for my worship such as my art of living center where I go for weekly sadhana or meditation practices.

After a few attempts, I started ignoring it – spirituality does not necessarily mean religious. I had lost interest to explain it to people. Why? Because I met about two dozen families or alliances for the alliance discussion.

Once, I heard a very interesting new term. “I am god fearing”. I had never heard it earlier, I was impressed and surprised too. Probably I was less educated about religion. I had to ask around what does this mean? Is it “religious?”

Spiritual not necessarily religious

Fortunately, I have some great mentors, one is Ramana uncleji. I shared this profile with him and asked him what does “God fearing” mean?

Uncleji told me – “None of the Indian religion teaches you fear. In fact, none teaches you fearing from God in specifics.”

I added – yes, I understand – Krishna is embodiment of love.

Uncleji continued – “Yes, the concept of fear of God is from Abrahamic religion (religions that started from the Central Asia). The girl is from a convent school.”

I was shocked, how could he figure it out? He was correct, though the profile did not have specifics of primary education. He said I understand it because mostly this is where you may learn the concept of fear from the Gods. Regular Indian family may hardly teach “Fear the Gods” at home.

He further added, the concept of fear from the God works when you must keep people in check and let them follow you “unquestionably”. Indian religions (Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism etc) hardly force you to follow the diktat without questioning.

I further mumbled – that’s correct, Arjuna asks questions to Krishna in Bhagvad Geeta. Vashishtha answers to Rama in Yog Vashishtha. In Ashtavakra Geeta, Ashtavakra discusses with Janaka and Shiva Sutra is full of questions from Parvati. We Indians have argued with almost every God.

Spiritual vs religious the difference

I have met many people who keep on bowing whenever they see a temple. It happens at times when the closing of eyes and folding of hands looks like an involuntary action. Involuntary action means something that happens without your conscious choice; examples are breathing, digestion and closing of eye in case of sudden light.

Namaste on the back

If you are just folding your hands without even your knowledge or without any deeper respect in your heart what is the meaning? It is like you closed your eyes when you saw a danger.

The idea of bowing down is not necessarily incorrect. Devotion makes you bow. This comes out of reverence and not fear. Bowing down can be a great mindful act and not an involuntary action, isn’t it?

Rarely, I saw that bowing down out of devotion or reverence. Mostly people bow down crossing any place of worship because of two reasons either they have some demand, or they are scared.

Fearing the God

In fact, I am amazed, the convent educated are a step ahead in the confusion. I saw these convent educated to make a cross on their face (similar to a Christian would do while crossing a church). I asked to one – what is that? She said we passed by the temple.

I smiled and said shouldn’t you be folding your hand?

I further inquired, why did you do that? The response was – it has become a habit. Really? A habit? Did you not learn something known as “respect”?

Fear created this habit. It is like an involuntary action, as a kid we used to keep stone when we saw fearsome dog in Dhar. How can you be a God-fearing person? How can you call yourself religious if you fear God?

At best the creature who gives you fear can be a fearsome villain, a monster or demon, if I say in Hindi an Asur or Rakshasa. You can fear a stray dog not the God. If you fear the God, it simply means you are taught incorrectly, there is likely a problem in your religious learning.

Next time, when you bow down remember – the temple or the Murti in the temple is just a representation. The God is omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent. You would know soon if you are religious – as conditioned in childhood – or spiritual. It is better the bowing down happens due to reverence and mindfulness rather than fear and involuntary.

Image source – Husky dog by Ilya Shishikhin on Unsplash, Lotus by Jay Castor on Unsplash, Yoga pose by Avrielle Suleiman on Unsplash, Love and fear quote frame by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

February 6, 2022
Are you facing a behavioral issue – here is a magic bullet

Recently, my father had a severe stomach ache. Doctors prescribed pain killers. It helped to a certain extent, however, two days later again he had the same issue. Some diagnoses gave no conclusive reasoning to the issue. The further diagnosis helped us figure out – the causes, possible approaches to avoid it in the future – what to eat, what to avoid, and what should be the lifestyle – besides the medicines.

Behavioral issue

How often do we make similar kinds of errors in treatment? If you get angry often, you are asked to undergo an anger management course. Attending an anger management course is like administering a painkiller. It would help – but how long? Do you think it is going to help? How often does it help the person?

It is often found that the cause of anger is impatience, inability to handle pressure, unwillingness to accept the situations, etc. On a lighter note – it can be a sense of entitlement too that causes anger – as they say often in Delhi “Janta hai mera baap kon hai?” “Do you know who my father is?”. This question sometimes provides a sense of entitlement to commit a mistake and get scot-free. Well, that is for some other day.

The solution to these problems is not attending Anger Management courses. The deeper analysis and reflection is the better and long-term solution. As in the case of my father’s severe ache, the solution to your behavior also lies in a bit deeper diagnosis, identification of the right causes, and lifestyle.

The behavior here goes beyond the act of getting angry or losing a temper. The behavior encompasses multiple possible ways one reacts to situations or people. I am a strong believer that spiritual awakening is a big solution to mental health. I mean spiritual awakening as in – Indian spiritual methods. The methods were taught by the many spiritual masters of India including the Buddha.

When I say meditation and spirituality are some of the solutions to many behavior issues, it may sound like this is a magic bullet. In a way it is. Especially, when you are concerned about you yourself – spirituality and meditation are the potent solutions. When I say that I mean Indian mysticism.

How and why spirituality and meditation for the behavioral issues?

Have you seen two sets of people standing in a queue – one worried, restless, and one overjoyed and happy? You can observe it in – a cinema ticket queue or a sports event ticket purchase. You could have observed it (in old days) Indian Railway’s reservation counters too. Have you ever asked yourself this question, why do two people in the same situation may have different mindsets or behavior?

The reason for different people behaving in the same railway reservation counter is different. One may be going home after a long journey and the other leaving the loved one behind. Same place, the same action of booking a ticket but different feelings. The reason is different people behave differently.

In fact, the first thing one learns in Marketing – respond to different customer or customer segments differently! This applies to our daily lives too. So, each person standing in the queue of reservations may have a different mindset and each mindset may require handling situations differently. Isn’t it correct?

Spirituality and meditation

Now when we have established that the different mindsets require different solutions, how can a set of religious practices or methods solve the same problem? This is where religion fails many of us. Religion deals with the masses and is like a herd mentality. Spirituality is for self and soul. So, mostly religion may not solve your problems but spirituality can.

You can solve your behavioral problem with your working “on yourself”. Meditation is the technique that works on “your” self. The problem of anger – for example – is an individual’s problem therefore the solution of that also lies at the individual’s level. It requires a diagnosis. The one that gives some conclusive reasoning to the issue. Spirituality gives that one. As was the case with my father’s stomach issue, a deeper analysis was required for the solution.

Our behavioral issues also require deeper analysis. And that my friend can be done with spiritual practice such as meditation. Give it a try. I can vouch for the Art of Living Foundation as I have done their courses – check a few online courses here.

January 30, 2022
Circumstances – are you a victim or a victor?

Every decision you make (or do not make) in life is either driving you towards a default future or a future you want to create. Every small or big decision you make can make you a victim or a victor of circumstances. Are you a Victim or a victor of the circumstances?

Have you ever noticed your reaction or response in different situations? If not, try to remember and re-live one of your best or worst times. Think about how you reacted and what actions did you take? Now, think as a disinterested person how could you respond to that situation differently?

The three laws of performance

Let me share some of my examples and learnings about how you can either be victims or victors of circumstances and how situations can make or break you. In other words, circumstances define us if we do not learn from them.

I am reading a book – The three laws of performance. It is an incredible – but complex – book. A word of caution – it requires a lot of deliberation and thought to work on action items.

In one of the chapters, the authors narrate a small incidence.

Colin Wilson, the prolific and influential British writer, was born to working-class parents from a relatively poor community in Britain. Although his ambition was to become the next Albert Einstein, he was forced to quit school at age sixteen.

Working as a laboratory assistant, he fell into despair and decided to end his own life by drinking hydrocyanic acid. At the moment before what was to be his final act, he came to a realization. There were two Colin Wilsons, it was like two people living in the same body. One was an idiot boy filled with self-pity. The other was his “real self”.

The idiot boy, he realized, was about to kill them both.

From that moment on, Colin Wilson occurred to himself in a new way. He saw himself as the “real Colin Wilson” instead of the unsuccessful lab technician. He later wrote that from that point, “I glimpsed the marvelous immense richness of realized, extended to distant horizons.”

The authors conclude in their words – When “how a person occurs to himself alters”, everything else shifts as well.

The language of “occur” is peculiar to the authors. I tried simplifying it at the beginning of the blog.

Did you realize anything? Out of frustration, the prolific British writer was about to kill himself. Many a time, you become victims of circumstance and take actions that you must not. Predominantly, such decisions define you. Let me share my personal experience to drive home the point.

My personal experience – once a victor once a victim

I was damn bad in Mathematics up to standard 5. Teach me a concept in the morning, and by evening I have entirely forgotten it. I wanted to become an engineer, though I did not know one needs to studying Mathematics to become an engineer.

Thankfully, in standard five, I learned that I need to study Math to become an engineer. I started writing tables daily. Within a month, I could write, recite and answer multiplication till 27 verbally. I gained confidence. I started solving problems of Mathematical reasoning. Thanks to my cousins, they had competitive exams preparatory books. Within months of realizing the importance of Math for my dream, I became the victor of Math-phobia.

Finally, I was a rank holder in the state Pre-Engineering Test.

This situation defined me. It can help you too.

Cut to my standard 9th and 10th. I was a very good sprinter and long jumper. No wonder, I wanted to be athele too. I was at a crossroads – dream one of becoming an engineer and dream two of becoming an athlete. At that time we Indian respected only Cricket none others as such. I left the athletics and concentrated on 1st dream. Surprisingly, I never went to practice on tracks for at least 3.5 years, my one decision, and I had completely stopped running. In fact, when I went to the track, I used to feel ashamed of even touching it forget abou running.

I was the victim of the situation I left one dream whereas I could pursue both in the longer run. Did you realize how our situations define us and our decisions make or break us?

There is one good thing about being an athlete at a young age. Whenever I go to a doctor, invariably doctors ask – “are you an athlete or do you play sports regularly?” Initially, I used to ask “why are you asking – I was an athlete as a teen, but not now”. They responded – “Your heart rate and BP are on a lower side. It is common for sportspersons.”

Circumstances in business – victim to a victor

Making no decision is also a decision. I heard this regarding previous Prime Ministers of India – PV Narasimha Rao and Manmohan Singh.

On a lighter note – you can afford to be indecisive for political and larger reasons such as a country. Though, this is a sad thing to say or write. However, in business, one cannot be that lax. You are judged every day for your past and upcoming quarter results and long-term success. You have to perform or perish, you cannot bribe board members or shareholders to elect you the CEO again and again :). Although, it is possible to form Governments in democracy!

In general, the decisions you make define you or define the course of the organization you are building. The decisions you make affect the near and dear – stakeholders of your life and business. Let me elaborate.

The business world is full of case studies after case studies regarding how companies made or broke themselves. Nokia was leading the mobile revolution in the ’90s. In 2005, Sony launched Walk-man mobile phone series W. Apparently, it was a competition to Nokia. Had Nokia learned something and Apple not caught on to it and continued with its iPod – both Nokia and Apple would have been history. Apple reinvented the communication industry, whereas Nokia became a history.

Did Apple become the victim of the competition? No. It sailed through this time with a rather winning product – iPhone. I can go on and on – be it the digital camera vs Kodak, reinvention of Domino’s in the last decade, or the Ice harvesting industry of the 1900s.

Conclusion

If you have seen the sailboat, It sails in different directions with the help of wind. It is up to the sailor how he wants to navigate and decide the direction of his journey.

In every walk of life – personal or professional – we face defining moments. If we do not decide, we move towards the “default future” – as the book The three laws of performance states.

What is a default future, you may ask? Well, the default future is – “Unless you do something radical to alter your course, the future that is approaching you is the default future.” If you take some radical path it will alter your future. In my above personal examples, it was improving Math and leaving athletics.

In summary, the circumstances will always pose questions or force you for decisions; how and what decisions you make will define whether you are a victim or victor. Do you want to live in your default future or want to course correct to make a better future for yourself? Let me know if I can be of any help from your journey from a victim or a victor.

September 10, 2021
Virtue of integrity – a story
Long back I received this story – Virtue of integrity. I liked it so kept it sharing on the blog, unfortunately missed publishing it. Now I don’t know the source where I read it, a Google search gave me this link, so assume this is the source. No copyrights claimed. Without further ado, here it is.

Virtue of integrity

A successful businessman was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, “It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you..”

The young executives were Shocked, the boss continued. “I am going to give each one of you a SEED today – one very special SEED… I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.”

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.

By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn’t have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by — still nothing in Jim’s pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn’t say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil – He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn’t going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful — in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back. “My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown,” said the CEO. “Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!”

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, “The CEO knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!”

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed – Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, “Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!

His name is Jim!” Jim couldn’t believe it. Jim couldn’t even grow his seed.

“How could he be the new CEO?” the others said.

Then the CEO said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead – it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!

Summary

The author summarized the story as below
- If you plant honesty, you will reap trust
- If you plant goodness, you will reap friends
- If you plant humility, you will reap greatness
- If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
- If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective
- If you plant hard work, you will reap success
- If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation
- If you plant faith in God, you will reap a harvest
So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.

Basically, the virtue of integrity, honesty, loyalty, etc is too expensive to expect from any person. Only those who are valuable and value-conscious they keep it and can offer it.

“Whatever You Give To Life, Life Gives You Back”
June 27, 2021
Education, religion and spirituality

Adviti is attending school now, this started off with thoughts on education, religion, and spirituality. She is three years and we opted for online schooling finally. We avoided it initially, but the Chinese virus (Covid-19) gave us no option of formal school for her. It has been only two weeks. This time around the questions were more than just why do we educate kids? and also the race we start with our kid’s schooling.

During our primary education, we read this story in our syllabus. This is apt for our life in general and I take a parallel from this story in religion and spirituality as well. Let me first narrate the story to you.

Hunter and the parrots

A jungle was famous for its species of parrots. One day a hunter crossed by this jungle. He was mighty impressed with these different types and colors of parrots. The hunter put his net and no wonder he could catch a lot of parrots. He sold those in the market and made a lot of money. He started visiting this jungle often.

A sage lived in this jungle too. He observed that the number of parrots was drastically reducing. Sage being sage, compassionate, and friendly to every animal of the jungle, started teaching these parrots.

The sage taught these parrots –

The hunter comes, spreads his net,
puts some grains, we should avoid this trap

The exact words we learnt in the Hindi version was

शिकारी आता है. जाल फैलता है.
दाना डालता है. हमें जाल में नहीं फ़सना चाहिए।

The parrots learned it quickly. They started singing it all the time. When the hunter came he was taken aback. He was fearful now he won’t get these parrots. With a heavy heart, he put his net again. To his surprise, all the parrots were in the net and singing the same song

The hunter comes, spreads his net,
puts some grains, we should avoid this trap

With immense pleasure, he took his prized possession. This time he had value-added parrots – parrots who spoke language!

When the hunter crossed sage’s hut, sage was smiling. He saw all the parrots singing the song inside the trap that they had to avoid.

The moral of the story

We must learn instead of rote memorization. we must learn instead so that conceptual learning can be applied in many walks of life.

Additionally, there are chances that someone says one thing but does another. We must learn two things – first, we must walk the talk, and second, identify people who do not walk the talk and be cautious.

Education

When Adiviti sits for her school sessions, I sit with her. Initially, I was frustrated (at times now too) with her slow response. She knows the things but does not respond, at times she does not understand – because she predominantly understands Marathi and Hindi and not English. She does not follow instructions.

We learn a lot of very basic and important things in our schools. How much do we apply in our life? Be it learning instead of rote method or the basics – do not steal, do not tell lie, etc.

Religion

Another thought triggered in my mind. We learn almost all the ten commandments of Abrahamic religions in School, isn’t it? Most of the religion teach such basic things in our life. If this is the only lesson of religion our school or syllabus of school education is no less than a religious book. In fact, in this case, the schools and education are much more than many of the religions of the world.

Though I know I have made this comparison on a very high level. In whatever case, what more the religions teach? Follow what is taught, in some cases do not use your brain. Do not question the authority, isn’t it?

Religions that do not allow questioning is far lesser than school education. At least school education allows asking questions!

I am a born Hindu (a Lingayat), I have questioned almost everyone and everything religious since childhood. When I was unconvinced I stopped going to temples. When I started understanding few things about Hinduism and started reading few scriptures, I realized many scriptures are dialogs. On the battlefield, Arjun asked questions, Janaka asked questions to Ashtavakra, and Vashisth and Rama discussed multiple things. When someone wrote Upnishad no one asked to believe those by force.

The Buddha or Mahavir (and other Tirthankaras of Jainism) also gave the point of view without forcing others to accept those as gospel truth.

Spirituality

I have written on religion vs spirituality earlier. In that blog, I had given an analogy between religion and spirituality to sex and love. Since now I am looking at education, I created another analogy between education and learning to religion and spirituality. You can learn without formal education. I have heard of a past CM of Maharashtra – Vasant Dada Patil He was educated to only 4th grade. However, he was the harbinger of the robust canal and irrigation system of Maharashtra.

If we look at multiple definitions of spirituality what best comes to my mind is – “search for meaning in life”. I can connect to the Indic religion (Buddhism, Jainism, and Hinduism) to a large extent. Spirituality is beyond any geography, religious rituals, and believing in a single book alone. Spirituality includes every living being – I can write more on that however that is for some other day.

In fact, if I take the freedom to extrapolate the story, the hunter (शिकारी) is our false sense of self, net (जाल) greed, lust, ego etc and the grains – bait – (दाना) is our false sense of satisfaction or pleasure. We should not get in the net (जाल), here WE is the SELF.

Education, religion, and spirituality

What I have observed is that education and religion are like parrots in the cage. They know what they are saying but they do not understand the meaning of what they are saying. It is with many people and religions worldwide. In fact just because of that either we see terrorism or atheism in the world. People have either lost trust in religion or they are so faithful that they see killing those who do not comply with the point of view of the killer.

At the same time, learning and spirituality are conceptualizing, synthesizing, and questioning, and exploring. Learning involves a sense of experience similar to spirituality. Look at religion you would get a lot of people who can reiterate books word by word without knowing and experiencing. This is what differentiates religion and spirituality.

I saw a tweet from Elon Musk once – “I hate when people confuse education with intelligence, you can have a bachelor’s degree and still be an idiot.”

The corollary, in this case, is – one can be known for religion and religious knowledge without actually being a spiritual master. Whereas Spiritual masters many times are against the dogmas and are more practical and clear about what they say, do, and mean.

Adviti’s schooling is a learning experience for me. I have to get off the showjumping thing we have observed. I have to let her learn at her own pace. What matters is how intelligent she becomes with the education not how much she scores in school. What is more important is she becomes a virtuous person who walks the talk – not like the parrots who are in the cage reiterating the lesson –

The hunter comes, spreads his net,
puts some grains, we should avoid this trap

The exact words we learnt in the Hindi version was

शिकारी आता है. जाल फैलता है.
दाना डालता है. हमें जाल में नहीं फ़सना चाहिए।

June 20, 2021
Half knowledge

We learn things slowly. Slow learning is ok, however continuous learning is important otherwise the knowledge becomes half knowledge. The baby steps we take make us learn, yet at the same time, if we stick to the only what is written in the book without using our brain, we may get constricted and end up knowing only what we read – result – half knowledge. It is detrimental.

Source Flickr

Half knowledge is equivalent to goat eating a piece of paper that had information. Goat would digest the paper but not the knowledge on that paper. I will share some examples.

H for Hen ‘and much more’

My daughter – Adviti – is learning alphabets – both Hindi and English. She has difficulty in saying ‘R’ and few other Hindi alphabets so she mixes up few things. In alphabets, she says E for Hathi. Because she knows the photo and she knows the name of the animal in Hindi. She used to say H for Tap tap (for horse). She found pronouncing Horse difficult so she said tap tap because horse runs with that kind of sound. We found it funny, but we wanted to correct it. Now we teach her H for Hen. Once we were teaching her and for something I said Hand. She got confused H for Hand or H for Hen! This is a learning process, we slowly understand that H for Hen was just for us to learn the alphabet H. H has many more alphabets be it a noun or otherwise. Imagine Adviti restricting herself to H for Hen alone! She will miss a multitude of things in life (more than 33000 words starting with H included). Half knowledge can restrict one’s horizons.

Knowing book by page number is not knowledge

The second incident is about half-knowledge but knowing some stuff to the T. I loved Chemistry subject, in standard 12, and especially a textbook ‘Comprehensive Chemistry’ the most. My special liking was Organic chemistry. I read the book multiple times such that I remembered the page number, the image of the page, and the content of the pages. Even after a year, when someone asked me a question, I responded – open Comprehensive Chemistry, go to page 236, it is on the left side of the book, in the center, there is a picture just below the picture read 2nd para (say the last para) you will get the concept. The answer to your question is – “XYZ”. Do not search for the book and pages now – I am talking about 1998, many things might have changed by now in the textbook :).

Knowing such details of the book (One book precisely) did not make me an expert in Chemistry for sure. Because all that was mostly bookish knowledge with few experiments in Chemistry lab of School. At best, I had a photographic memory – not expertise in Chemistry, isn’t it? Even a Ph.D. may not say (s)he knows the fundamental subject line Chemistry / Physics completely.

Hathiphant

The other incident happened with my cousin brother and my eldest sister. They were talking about the education system of India. My cousin brother said there are downsides to teaching kids a medium (language) that is not the mother tongue. He recalled a neighbor who used to call an elephant – ‘Hathiphant’. This coined word is a mix of two words; Hathi a Hindi word for Elephant and part of Elephant – Phant. Merge these words and you will get Hathiphant. This confused toddler learned both words at home and in confusion made the Elephant a Hathiphant. Half knowledge can make one jumble multiple things and make a conclusion that may be incorrect.

This has happened to me too when I was a student. We learned something and later that something became another thing (Hathi to Elephant). Let me tell you how can q kid get confused. I learned – I live in Dhar (a small city in India). Later, I learned- I live in Madhya Pradesh, lastly, I learned- I live in India. How is that possible? A 6-year-old cannot understand why and how can one person be in three different places? Later it was clear what living in three docent paves meant?. In 3rd we had nine planets, later Pluto was removed from the list, funny isn’t it?

Half-knowledge

Well, no it is not funny. We keep on learning. If we stop learning and improving our knowledge becomes half knowledge. This half-knowledge is harmful. Our learning makes us understand that our knowledge is limited and we are consistently adding to our body of knowledge. Alas! Some people, knowing one book, feel as if they’ve known everything. Reciting few books by page number and chapter plus paragraph didn’t make us intelligent or omniscient.

I had a photographic memory of the Chemistry book, but I wasn’t fully aware of the field of Chemistry, isn’t it? Well, but why am I talking about it here? This applies to spirituality too, have you heard people reciting verses from books? Do they have the knowledge, mostly no? They at best have a photographic memory to vomit words from a reference book. Knowledge and experience on the spiritual path are pristine, once you hear those enlightened masters you quickly get connected. I have met a few of such masters in person, I have that first-hand experience of witnessing the presence.

Similarly, in businesses too, not all business grads become successful managers or entrepreneurs. Becoming a successful business person requires more than the degree, knowledge, isn’t it?

The point is, be it the path of spirituality or business, or a toddler learning language, we keep on learning and experiencing new things. Every experience is unique and thus, if we assume that photographic memory of any certain book is the knowing everything; it is – in effect – detrimental to not just one person but everyone around. On the path of spirituality and religion it a disaster for sure.

Every situation demands a unique set of tools. I think that is why Krishna was needed on Pandavas’s side during the Mahabharat war. Yudhisthir – and all Pandava brothers were – (was) predictable. They went by the book, defeating Pandava’s won’t have been tough for Kaurava’s because they knew Pandava’s would go by the books all the time, besides having a bigger army. That is where unpredictability and Krishna’s intelligence came in handy. Experience of bending the rules could play in the hands of those who understand the situation and learn from experience. Those who learn from and are ready to learn from the experiences do not have half the knowledge. Be ready for learning, implementing, experiencing, and continuing it lifelong.

Image source – Flickr

May 28, 2021
Impermanent and trifling or forever and important

I was playing with Adviti in our building’s parking area. There were some small dead branches of a tree. On the face of it, it looked an impermanent and trifling item to me. I took it in my hand, showed it to Adviti. We started talking, I told her this was a branch of the tree above. It had leaves, that nourish the tree. Well, I did not go up to photosynthesis, Adviti is only three years currently. I questioned myself with the chain of thoughts – are things Impermanent and trifling or forever and important?

Deep inside, I started feeling multiple things, one as if the branch and leaves had their own life. What I mean is – the life of a tree and the life of a leaf or branch were separate. It was a strange thought, this is like saying my hair, or skin, or nails have a separate life other than my own body. It becomes even weirder from here. How do I know that I have only “This Life” that I perceive? I have written earlier – and we all know – our body hosts umpteen living organisms. I cannot experience them therefore they are separate or they do not even exist for me, is it?

All these thoughts were going on with the disturbing news of deaths due to Covid. I came home after the small walk with Adviti and started re-reading a chance chapter of Old Path White Clouds book. It was luck that the chapter was based on interdependent co-arising, the concept of Buddhism I love the most. news of death makes one feel a void, and question the existence. At the same time, the thought of the impermanent and trifling nature of our life comes to mind. At the same time when I think from a larger perspective, our life seems forever and important.

Let me share some paraphrase parts of the philosophy of the Buddha on “Impermanent & trifling” vs “forever and important”.

While The Buddha was meditating he was a Pippala leaf. Looking deeply at the leaf The Buddha perceived the leaf had a presence of The Sun, the stars, and the Moon. Without the sun, without the light and warmth, the leaf could not exist. Similarly, the leaf contained the clouds, without the rains this leaf could not exist. Similarly, the earth, time, space all were present in the leaf. The entire universe existed in the leaf. The leaf was a manifestation, it existed before and it will exist even after the physical form is gone. Impermanence is the very basis of growth.

Impermanent and trifling or forever and important

The Buddha’s perception concludes with these thoughts – “To accept life means to accept impermanence and emptiness of self. The source of suffering is a false belief in permanence and the existence of separate selves. There is neither birth nor death, production nor destruction. These false distinctions are created by the intellect. If one penetrates the empty nature of all things, one will transcend all mental barriers, and be liberated from the cycle of suffering.”

Everything is Impermanent and trifling or forever and important. It is the perception with which we look at things. My understanding of interdependent co-arising makes me conclude that even the speck of sand is also forever and important – only form changes.

May 2, 2021
Behind our eyebrows

The world that we see is not outside, it is behind our eyebrows unless we can qualify what we see accurately. Many times, what we see may not be the reality, it is a reflection of what we think we are seeing. Ashtavakra’s explanation is “the rope on the ground is seen as a snake because your mind thinks it is a snake”.

Shut the mind off

Mumbai has hardly any winter. This was Feb thankfully we were not sweating after our bath – as we do now in Apr. Thus, we feel good in whatever winter Mumbai has. As usual, this morning also I was doing my daily morning Sadhana (meditation practice). My daughter – Adviti – had just learned to enjoy a toy that moves, throws light, and plays song alongside. She had this toy with her for over a year. When we tried it a year back, she got frightened with the light, sound, and movement of this toy. However, off late, she accepted the toy, and now she keeps on playing with it. A drawback with this toy is – it does not have a volume control option.

I was meditating and she was dancing around with the noise of the toy. After a while, I felt that I should go and stop the toy so that I can peacefully practice today’s Sadhana. Meditation aside, this thought followed up with others. First, it was a noise for me, music for her. She was unaware – as my wife and parents were too – that the sound was uncomfortable for me. The toy was the world for her, she was enjoying it with her heart and soul dancing around it, giggling, and inviting her mother and grandparents to join her. Generally, you feel elated when your child or grandchild is happy. My wife and parents were also engrossed in Adviti’s joy. At the same time for me, meditation was my world. In the same room, we were in two different worlds.

This happened for a couple of days with me. Somehow, I could keep on continuing my practice without asking for stopping the toy. Within few days, I realized my meditation is my practice, it should not be impacted by external factors. If our mind feels something is a problem we can analyze it with disinterested reasoning or shut the mind off because it creates unnecessary noises behind our eyebrows that we do not even realize.

The summer has set-in in Mumbai, now after the bath, we start sweating. We do not complain, we cannot change it. Every Mumbaikar has a response for summer of Mumbai – “accept it” – either put an AC at home or apply deodorant.

Behind our eyebrows

It happens with all of us. We end up creating our own problems. The mind makes us feel or believe something that may not necessarily be correct. Before assuming something or making a perception a verification can help.

In March, someone accused me of a thing that neither I intended nor I did. In fact, I had no role in what was going on in this gentleman’s mind! The bigger surprise is – “I was not even the actor in what he though Mr X did, but I was the accused!” I was literally a third party, Mr X, the gentleman and I (one who had no active or passive role in actions of Mr X). I tried justifying myself to him. When I realized the mindset of the other person; I stopped defending myself. Since I had just learned a lesson with Advity’s playing with the toy I could relate the learning. I moved on thinking “if your mind is corrupted, you would be responsible for the words, actions, and consequences. How can someone help you until you are open to listening?”

Actually, the thought in Hindi was this – “Agar tumhare dimag me bhusa bhara hai to aag bhi dimag me hi lagegi, koi aur uske liye kya kare?” अगर तुम्हारे दिमाग में भूसा भरा है तो आग भी तुम्हारे दिमाग में ही लगेगी, कोई और उसके लिए क्या करे? It would be great if someone can help me translate this effectively in English.

Everyone lives in his own world. This world is made up of what we live in our minds. What we see is not ahead of our eyes, it is behind our eyebrows.

After writing the blog, I searched if some enlightened master’s comment is available on these thoughts, I found a pertinent one from Sadhguru.

April 24, 2021