Business to the Buddha

Tag: Lingayats

  • Arranged marriages







    Yesterday I received a call from unknown number – Hello, is that Pravin? Yes I said. “I’m Ms Gautam [name changed], we connected that time etc”. We talked for about 10 min, that lady (though belonging to the Art of Living community) almost abused many unknown AoL devotees.

    The lady never told name of her daughter. Yes that is true. I was contacted earlier, that time too she circumvented the question. This “arranged marriage” is a strange business – watch video below. Before you select whom you like, you first select he/she should be from which caste, what education and yes even at some place “salary”!? I was watching “Timepass” a Marathi movie recently. Two kids in their teens fall in love watch movie for what happens next. The movie ended with same questions on my face. We decide caste, social status and status first rather than the choice of guy and the girl. Things are very subjective and here goes my story.

    I registered on renowned matrimonial sites of India. I know they are in business, yet their constant push bugged me. It was bit disappointing, when they called me during weekdays. Anyways, what frustrated me using those sites was – stereotypical approach of considering me of one community rather than a prospective educated groom. I have written about it earlier too, especially against hypocrisies of my community – Lingayats.

    I came across two sites and thus deleted my profile at traditional sites. The sites are – ibluebottle.com and ZoobyDooby.com (ZD). Both are different, interesting and refreshing.

    BlueBottle is good but wants salary to be disclosed (seems awkward if one makes selection of bride/groom on salary as first criteria!). Second, you cannot search and connect on BlueBottle. BlueBottle has full personality test; what is the guarantee that someone will be able (intentionally or unintentionally) to answer all subjective questions correctly. On the other hand, ZD has a poor interface and is slow. The positives – BlueBottle puts profession as primary whereas ZD gives you chance to go through profiles. Especially ZD does a wonderful task of matching interests and profile interaction (Facebook profiling) based on an analytical engine. Watch the video how ZD works here.

    Just to give you an example – I follow the Art of Living and first person I see on ZD matches is a devotee of AoL. Is not is surprising and interesting? Let me add – when we search prospective bride/groom, we do it based on what we think we like. However, ZD learns from our social network and helps us interact and discover. Interestingly it’s free!

    I believe we are all born equal (unlike Hinduism’s caste system based divide). I feel good when I see ZD and BlueBottle believing and doing things accordingly. In long run it would help our society to get away from our “preconceived” notions of what we should like and towards what we naturally prefer.

    Disclaimer – company in which I work has invested in ZoobyDooby

  • Cast(e)ing doubt – What’s your (last) name?







    In a lift one person, an old 70-75 year or so, looks at the other, smiles and thinks – New guy in the building! Looks educated ‘I can talk to him’. He asks – What is your name?

    Other person responds – Pravin

    Old man – Pravin what?

    2nd person – Pravin is my name.

    2nd person looks at the old man with a question mark on face, what does that mean?

    Old man – I mean your last name?

    2nd – I call myself KRD Pravin and my friends call me KRD (at times KRD P).

    Old man stares with a complete blank (!) and question on face?

    2nd person continues – Does not it sound like JRD (Tata)? One step ahead, that is in alphabet “K” comes just after “J” right? Smile!

    Old man – what does KRD mean?

    2nd person – KRD stands for my last name and father’s name.

    2nd person smiles and the old man insists on an answer.

    Old man – Ok! But what is your last name?

    2nd person (possibly getting the hint of apparent insistence now) – so you wanted to know my last name and not the name, is that right?

    Old man completely taken aback by such question, because he was only interested in the last name. What goes on in the mind of old man is – ok lad looks educated, but does not have manners, arrogant!

    Perhaps the old man is thinking – “I have a suitable girl for him in my mind?” Wait without knowing if 2nd person is married or not, how can one think like that? Anyways jokes apart.

    This is the reality, of few discussions (elevator talks). People are more interested in what someone’s ancestors did than what this young lad is doing? This is the problem of our caste system.

    I writing a series (on and off) of blogs on – against – the caste system of India (include black skin for other parts of the world). This is another installment in the series.

    One of my school friends (this is not a fiction he was indeed like this) used to make friends based on last name, he at times used to ask “what are you people? (that is you belong to what/which caste?)” If the other person does not fall in “his choice of category” he wont make friends with them. His selected types were – Hindus (in religion), Vaishya, Brahman and Kshatriyas (in caste). In the language of Indian quota system – he wont make friends with SC, ST or OBCs. I was surprised but well I made a note of this!

    I think we all were forest dwellers, once farmers. A blacksmith and mason is nothing but present day engineer. The more we developed the more we regressed actually! Even before the baby is born – he/she is black/white/sub-continent dweller. The day a baby is born we tag him/her as Christian/Hindu/Sikh/Muslim etc. Next tag is more clarification – You are a Shwetambar Jain, Or Saryuparayan Bramhan etc.

    What is this – why we do differentiate on caste? In India there are temples where even Hindus (shudra/Dalits/Untouchables) can not go. All over India this is widespread.

    Dalits give ‘donation’ to enter temple 2013 – The Hindu

    Dalits told to keep distance from temple 2013 – Times of India

    Dalits enter TN temple first time in 100 yrs – Times of India

    Below two news are almost same difference is the year. News from The Hindu newspaper site (by far the most respected and authentic newspaper in India)

    Dalits enter temple amid tight police security 2013

    Dalits enter temples with police protection 2009

    Tera Bhagvan (khuda) mere bhagvan (khuda) se alag hai!
    तेरा भगवान (खुदा) मेरे भगवान  (खुदा) से अलग है!

    Thy God is different than mine!

    When the creator is different there certainly is comparison – whose God is better?

    Meri Kamiz teri kamiz se safed hai

    मेरी कमीज़ तेरी कमीज़ से सफ़ेद है

    My shirt is brighter (better) than your shirt

    As if God is a trifling shirt or trouser! Who (which) can be better or worse.

    Related blogs –

    Cast(e)ing doubt –  everyone’s tears are salty

    We the societies

    When Buddha dies schools are born

  • Cast(e)ing doubts – everyone’s tears are salty







    I am not an admirer of the caste system of Indian society. The special love affair for that (aversion) goes to the Lingayats (disclaimer – I am a born Lingayat). I am going to write a series (on and off) of blogs on – against – the caste system of India (include black skin for other parts of the world). Here is the first such blog. This story is from Chapter 43 of the book Old path white clouds by a Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh. The book is on the life of the Buddha.

    In brief – The Buddha accepted an untouchable named Sunita, to his Sangha (in India 2500 years ago). It created a lot of uproar in Kingdom of King Pasenadi (Kosala) who was a devoted follower of the Buddha.

    Everyone’s tears are salty
    When The Buddha and his bhikkus were passing by the river Ganga they saw an untouchable person – Sunita (a person carrying nightsoil). when the Buddha started walking towards him, he ran farther away from the Buddha. When Sunita could do no more, he kept the nightsoil buckets on one side and hid in the river.

    Sunita “Lord, I do not dare come closer. I am an untouchable.”
    Lord, I do not dare come closer, I am an untouchable

    The Buddha walked right up to the water’s edge and said, “My friend, please come closer so we may talk.”
    Sunita, joined his plams, protested, “Lord, I don’t dare!”
    The Buddha asked – “Why not?”
    Sunita replied – “I am an untouchable. I don’t want to pollute you and your monks.”
    The Buddha said – “On our path, we no longer distinguish between castes. You are a human being like the rest of us. We are not afraid we will be polluted. Only greed, hatred, and delusion can pollute us. A person as pleasant as yourself brings us nothing but happiness. What is your name?”
    Sunita said – “Lord, my name is Sunita.”
    The Buddha asked – “Sunita, would you like to become a bhikkhu like the rest of us?”
    Sunita said – “I couldn’t!”
    The Buddha – “Why not?”
    Sunita – “I’m an untouchable!”
    The buddha – “Sunita, I have already explained that on our path there is no caste. In the Way of Awakening, caste no longer exists. It is like the Ganga, Yamuno, Aciravati, Sarabhu, Mahi, and Rohini rivers. Once they empty into the sea, they no longer retain their separate identities. A person who leaves home to follow the Way leaves caste behind whether he was born a brahman, ksatriya, vaisya, sudra, or untouchable. Sunita, if you like, you can become a bhikkhu like the rest of us.”

    King Pasenadi was asked by his ministers to protest and reason for this act of the Buddha. The King visited the monastery, while walking in the monastery he saw a few monks sitting under a tree and one monk sharing the teachings of the Buddha. The King was impressed with the monk who was teaching. The monks face radiated great peace and wisdom. This sight was such that King stopped for a while to listen to the monk.

    The King was so impressed with the monk that first question he asked was who was the monk teaching under the tree? The Buddha replied – “Sunita, he was once an untouchable”. King was embarrassed, the Buddha continued – “In the Way of Liberation, there is no caste. To the eyes of an enlightened person, all people are equal. Every person’s blood is red. Every person’s tears are salty. We are all human beings. We must find a way for all people to be able to realize their full dignity and potential. That is why I welcomed Sunita into the sangha of bhikkhus.”

    —

    Even after 2500 years, we still have widespread caste system. At that time there was only Hinduism now you have many religion in the world! Every religion has many sub-sub categories. You have color of skin to differentiate, what more you need?

    Related blogs –

    We the societies

    When Buddha dies schools are born

    Reference in the index of the book – Fo Pen Hing Tsi King (T. 190); Fang Kouang Ta Tchouang Yen King (T. 187); Lalitavistara.

    Image source Old path white clouds