Our experiences shape our world. We tend to behave in a manner based on how we have experienced some similar situations earlier. These experiences can be inaccurate too because we may have limited knowledge of the situation. This limited knowledge based inference may create a limited world view for us, because we get conditioned by our experiences and therefore responses. Our past experiences shape our judgments, should we have a new year resolution that we wont be judgmental about things around us? You might have experienced with some people, they take everything in a wrong direction. You might question yourself that how to help this person understand other perspective, isn’t it? Remember this personality type might have been a result of their past experiences.
Let me explain this with a very recent incident with my daughter, she is not even 2 years, she speaks monosyllables only. My daughter used to cry in a peculiar manner. We found it bit funny and I started imitating it. Whenever she cried I imitated it. She looked at me and started pointing my crying to her grandmother (my mother) or her mother (my wife). Once, I did it in front of our guests to show them how she makes a pout and points finger at me. All this while we have been thinking that she is trying to say that – I am imitating her and they should stop me from doing it.
However, recently I realized she does not know what imitation is as such. This clicked to me that all this while she was trying to convey to my mother or her mother that something is wrong with me and they should help pacifying me (because I was also crying). She does not know what copying means! She wanted a genuine help for me from Grand-mom or her mom.
There is a saying in Hindi / Sanskrit – Yatha drishti tatha shrishti. You will see the world as you perceive the world. That is – what you perceive the world to be, you will see it that way. Most of the times it may be a partial truth. Your perceptions create your reality.
I made fun of Adviti by imitating her; I did not understand the follow up as her genuine concern. We thought it is her complain that someone is imitating her, though it was her concern to offer help. We laughed and within a weeks she has stopped crying in that manner or when she has any concern. With kids we have to be very careful to inculcate right behavior to make them sensitive and caring.
Many people take a New Year resolution every year, this year what if we have a resolution that we would keep experiential barrier aside and would see the world as it is. Our experiences are the veil through which we see the world; the clearer we keep our judgment about situations better it is to have a response.