My friend called me and said I want to talk to you. I said go ahead we can speak. He asked for specific time as his conversation was likely to be a longer one. So, we decided to speak after office hours on a Friday evening.

He called me and said – “You know what? I always took your opinions constructively and learnt from it. Whenever you spoke with me and at times when you badgered me for my naivety or mistakes it was learning. Now when I recently had a very bad such opinion from someone, I felt like getting buried in sand.”

I was surprised. I am bit harsh some times, however I never knew that I am pursued like this by someone. Yes, intentions were most of the times for helping the person. So, I asked for more details of the recent incident. He obliged and gave me a detailed account of what has just happened with him.

My friend was visibly upset. I knew he was kind enough not to give as good as he had got. Possibly he was not upto it, or he was not in such position. I sensed he was unhappy and this recent incident was depressing. So, I shared the following story with him –



Traveller; “What kind of weather are we going to have today?”
Shepherd: “The kind of weather I like.”
“How do you know it will be the kind of weather you like?”
“Having found out, sir, that I cannot always get what I like, I have learnt always to like what I get. So I am quite sure we will have the kind of weather I like.”

Happiness and unhappiness are in the way we meet events, not in the nature of those events themselves.


We concluded the call, I said lets try to look at brighter side you learnt something. So, he himself concluded few points. One point was – next time if something goes beyond the agenda of discussion, I would bring it on agenda or I will stop digression. This is a common problem with many of us today. The digression was the culprit for my friend predicament. Not just digression but also little attention span. Well, I have to learn a lot before becoming such a coach to someone. My friend was kind enough to think I can be of any assistance.

Story sourcePrayer of the frog book by Fr Antony DeMello, the book is available in two volumes Volume 1 and Volume 2.

KRD Pravin

Here I am supposed to write about myself. Professionally, I am quite serious and a workaholic; personally I am an individual who enjoys what he does and takes life as it comes. I am passionate about my work and actions and empathetically careful, attached and committed to them. All this makes me a fierce competitive professional and yet a compassionate soul, the Yin and the Yang together. Balancing is the art to be practiced using the middle path. From -


rummuser · August 21, 2018 at 8:15 pm

Were you on a skype or whatsapp call? Otherwise, how did you conclude that he was visibly upset?

Effective communication is never about what is communicated. It is about how it is. One has to be particularly careful during phone calls and written communications when body language and facial expressions are not available.

    KRD Pravin · August 23, 2018 at 11:50 am

    Intended meaning is very update. I am not a native English speaker and my English is not very good.

    Can you please suggest correction?

rummuser · August 23, 2018 at 4:54 pm

Audibly upset. Actually, it is totally unnecessary. He sounded upset is all that needed to be said.

Another example is the use of the word update. I suppose you meant “clear”. Why use jargon at all?

3rd person present: updates
make (something) more modern or up to date.
“security measures are continually updated and improved”
synonyms: modernize, bring up to date, bring into the twenty-first century, renovate, refurbish, recondition, overhaul, re-equip, improve, better, upgrade, streamline, rationalize, reform, revise, correct, amend; bring up to code
“security measures are continually updated”
plural noun: updates
an act of updating something or someone or an updated version of something.
“an update on recently published crime figures”

First rule in communication. Use minimum words for maximum effect and use simply language.

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