Yesterday I received a call from unknown number – Hello, is that Pravin? Yes I said. “I’m Ms Gautam [name changed], we connected that time etc”. We talked for about 10 min, that lady (though belonging to the Art of Living community) almost abused many unknown AoL devotees.

The lady never told name of her daughter. Yes that is true. I was contacted earlier, that time too she circumvented the question. This “arranged marriage” is a strange business – watch video below. Before you select whom you like, you first select he/she should be from which caste, what education and yes even at some place “salary”!? I was watching “Timepass” a Marathi movie recently. Two kids in their teens fall in love watch movie for what happens next. The movie ended with same questions on my face. We decide caste, social status and status first rather than the choice of guy and the girl. Things are very subjective and here goes my story.

I registered on renowned matrimonial sites of India. I know they are in business, yet their constant push bugged me. It was bit disappointing, when they called me during weekdays. Anyways, what frustrated me using those sites was – stereotypical approach of considering me of one community rather than a prospective educated groom. I have written about it earlier too, especially against hypocrisies of my community – Lingayats.

I came across two sites and thus deleted my profile at traditional sites. The sites are – and (ZD). Both are different, interesting and refreshing.

BlueBottle is good but wants salary to be disclosed (seems awkward if one makes selection of bride/groom on salary as first criteria!). Second, you cannot search and connect on BlueBottle. BlueBottle has full personality test; what is the guarantee that someone will be able (intentionally or unintentionally) to answer all subjective questions correctly. On the other hand, ZD has a poor interface and is slow. The positives – BlueBottle puts profession as primary whereas ZD gives you chance to go through profiles. Especially ZD does a wonderful task of matching interests and profile interaction (Facebook profiling) based on an analytical engine. Watch the video how ZD works here.

Just to give you an example – I follow the Art of Living and first person I see on ZD matches is a devotee of AoL. Is not is surprising and interesting? Let me add – when we search prospective bride/groom, we do it based on what we think we like. However, ZD learns from our social network and helps us interact and discover. Interestingly it’s free!

I believe we are all born equal (unlike Hinduism’s caste system based divide). I feel good when I see ZD and BlueBottle believing and doing things accordingly. In long run it would help our society to get away from our “preconceived” notions of what we should like and towards what we naturally prefer.

Disclaimer – company in which I work has invested in ZoobyDooby

KRD Pravin

Here I am supposed to write about myself. Professionally, I am quite serious and a workaholic; personally I am an individual who enjoys what he does and takes life as it comes. I am passionate about my work and actions and empathetically careful, attached and committed to them. All this makes me a fierce competitive professional and yet a compassionate soul, the Yin and the Yang together. Balancing is the art to be practiced using the middle path. From -


rummuser · February 4, 2014 at 3:38 pm

Perhaps it is time that you gave serious consideration to the alternate system!

    admin · March 18, 2014 at 9:59 am

    I take your suggestions very seriously… tell me what is that alternate system? Creating new one? Or getting into some other system?

kanika · August 20, 2014 at 1:42 am

love marriages are no better.. specially when its a long distance relationship.. you interact and meet a person considering the person takes everything at face value and would be honest enough about their life yet you get betrayed…the person cheats on you, manipulates and influence you with the stories of his past experience (which turns out to be false later) and you fall in his emotional trap.. in today’s life people forget that being an MBA graduate or a good paying job or good command over English doesn’t make you a decent guy…you don’t become modern with clothing you gotta be good with your thoughts… guys want to have live-in relationship or would sleep with a girl before marriage but when it comes to reality you want dowry as that is your culture.. you want girl’s family to bow down and touch your feet.. you want money and car, just to show it off to your friend by saying – main apne dosto ko kya bolunga ke mujhe shaadi mein kya mila.. I mean balls to your chauvinism that you even have the guts to say that.. you don’t eye her as a property for your life instead you eye on her property to live your life.. with all this one not just loose faith in the other but also fears to believe in someone again..

    KRD Pravin · August 20, 2014 at 10:47 am

    Thank you Kanika. I can understand your point of view. I have been strong opponent of dowry system. Additionally, I agree with you the relationship is based on trust. I had rejected one alliance when the girl’s mother was not even willing to share name of the girl. I told her clearly – “this relationship is considered very sacred in our culture, and it should be based on trust. If you can not trust me, I am sorry I would not want to discuss this further.” Surprisingly – the girl’s mother felt offended. I told her further – “you never met me and you suggested that you are contacting me because we are from Art Of Living community at least trust the community” To this she abused almost everyone in the AoL community! Saying people in AoL community are also not good.

    Learning experience! The thing is learn and move on, dont think of past. Things will change, system will change. Perhaps, some people – as you are – are ahead of time.

      kanika · August 24, 2014 at 11:14 pm

      I would say – it is not about being ahead of time rather it is more to do with standing for what is right and what you believe in..taking no non-sense..

        KRD Pravin · August 24, 2014 at 11:42 pm

        Agree with you Kanika. Both these points are upto a person to decide – believing and accepting no-nonsense.

Gratitude | Business to the Buddha · January 20, 2015 at 8:25 am

[…] “no nonsense guy”, however starting 2011 when I started meeting girls for my (arrange) marriage couple of girls told me that I have “good sense of humor” and I am […]

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