Last weekend, I went for a haircut. In the big mirror of the barber, one of the rare things happened. I was staring at myself without my specks in the mirror and was surprised. I had never noticed that between my nose and eyes there is some bulge, which earlier was not there. I look at my face once again and asked myself – “is it me?” When I asked myself this question, I literally meant “the bulge” near top of my nose just below my eyes, which is mostly behind the frame. Or perhaps I never noticed.
The question was specifically to that part of my body – the bulge – is this really me? Suddenly some different thoughts made me think even more about the “overall me”. What defines me? The body – the bulge- until past couple of years was not there it is now, when I will get older, this mass would be lost. I should not be defined by this. Earlier I wrote on a tender coconut and how nothing becomes something in this case – the bulge, and in previous blog’s case – a tender coconut. I have black hair, in few years these would be white, would I change? What is that, that defines me as me?
Well on a philosophical level I may say that I am soul. But do I know it? This question about knowing the soul is like having information and not truly knowing the soul. These questions reminded what was suggested to me by a friend Ameet Murdeshwar a few years back. I often met Ameet while traveling to office during 2007-08. He told me read , a book “I am that” by Nisargdatta Maharaj. This book is on Adwait Vedanta. I feel myself to be too immature to read that subject. Though I have a copy of the book, unfortunately never had a chance to read it. I am asking myself this question for a week now – am I that? I will read it now.